He or She makes They.

Following the theme from last Friday, I thought I'd mention another quirk in my language.  In this case, actually, I just tend to be wrong.  Two things: a) singular/plural pronouns, and b) subject-verb agreement.

via.

Singular/Plural Pronouns.
I don't claim to be a grammarian, and by no means do I know all the writing rules, but I had always been told to make sure a sentence is consistent.  I listen for consistency.  I've noticed that many people, in an effort not to give away gender when being anonymous, replace the pronoun he/she with the singular they.  For example, "I know a person who once was in debt so much that they cut up all of their credit cards."

I didn't know it was a real thing, but there is a syntactical basis for it, as recorded in this generations online encyclopedia (Wikipedia).  It's correctness is debatable, but is recognizably used for indeterminate gender and indeterminate number.

From Wikipedia, an example of indeterminate number:

There's not a man I meet but doth salute me / As if I were their well-acquainted friend — Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene 3 (1594)

and indeterminate gender:

"It can't be true what the girls at the Rectory said, that her mother was an opera-dancer—""A person can't help their birth," Rosalind replied with great liberality. — Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1848)

There's a slew of other examples.  My conclusions is that if it's good enough for Shakespeare, it's good enough for me.  I won't feel guilty about being indeterminate with my "they" anymore.

Subject-verb agreement.
  I have often gotten in trouble with my subject verb agreement when I write.  I remember as a kid my teacher would circle the verb, then draw an arrow back to the subject to indicate that they don't match.  This problem still lurks in my writings and conversations.  Particularly singular and plural verbs.

I write many emails each week, and often I use "is" with a plural subject.  Not quite as bad as "they is goin' out fer dinner," but pretty close.   Mostly "Here is my vacation plans," where plans is the subject (here and there are never subjects).   "Where is the salt and pepper?"  Gotcha!  "Salt and pepper" here is a combined unit.  But how about this one?  "Here is my email address and phone number."  I think I say it wrong.

Grammar Book guidelines.

Rule 6
As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.
Example:A car and a bike are my means of transportation.

Here's another ambiguation/disambiguiation, depending on how you look at it:

Rule 15
Collective nouns such as team and staff may be either singular or plural depending on their use in the sentence.

Examples:The staff is in a meeting.  Staff is acting as a unit here.  The staff are in disagreement about the findings.  The staff are acting as separate individuals in this example.  The sentence would read even better as:  The staff members are in disagreement about the findings. 

Most of the time, I think it's just that I slap my verb into the sentence before I really know what I'm going to say.  So I'll just have to keep my ears open and think before I speak, then occasionally getting annoyed at myself when I find an inconsistency.

Is Blake and Ian coming?

Well, is they?

Of course they IS!  (Better watch out!)  Deerfield, NH Fair, 2012

You may not!

The other day I was working with Ian on his spelling words and reading sentences that the teacher sent home with him.  Strangely, I came across a word that is not a part of my normal vocabulary.

Cannot.  

First interesting Google image result for "cannot."  via.

Strange, eh?  It's not like the word is foreign or archaic, I just don't use it.  I wonder if Freud would have something to say about that?  My mom will tell you that as a toddler I had plenty of head-strong days where I knew that I could do anything that I decided I wanted to do.  In fact, my wife will tell you that once I have a glimmer of an idea that I should or could do something, I am tough to dissuade.  There ain't nothin I can't do.

{As an aside, do you think "can't" is a short form of "cannot" or "can not?"  Just curious.}

I think this explains why "cannot" is not a part of my lexicon:

1. Cannot indicates inability, whereas can not seems to indicate a choice to abstain.
2. In recent years, perhaps due to having children, I have found myself using the phrase "you may not" to indicate a prohibition.  Otherwise, a clever child will try to demonstrate that indeed, he can!
3. When writing, I generally tend to rephrase my thoughts to avoid contractions and unsightly phrasing.  I wonder if the subtle differences in cannot and can not-- or at least the ambiguity in useage-- has led me away from using this word?
4. I remember being a kid and asking "Can I [fill in the blank]?" and the cheeky answer being "I don't know, can you?"  Invariably I would have to ask "May I [fill in the blank]?" before getting approval.  We practice this same construct in our parenting.

So, not being sure, I did a little search, and this is what I found in a grammar help site. I find the comments the more interesting part of the discussion.  Just goes to show that occasionally I have too much time on my hands.  To grab a few quotes:

              "There seems to be a bunch of mythology about different shades of meaning between "can not" and "cannot." I checked the definition in the unabridged Merriam-Webster dictionary and “cannot” was defined as “can not.” They mean exactly the same thing."

   and 

               ""cannot" and "can not" do NOT mean the same thing, at all. 
When you say "You can not eat ice-cream for dinner," you are claiming that the option to not eat ice-cream for dinner exists. 
When you say "You cannot eat ice-cream for dinner," you are specifically claiming that eating ice-cream for dinner is NOT on option. 
This may be more clear (but is fundamentally the same) when adding a modifier to "can not." For example, "You CAN always NOT right the roller coaster if you are afraid." vs. "You CANNOT ride the roller coaster if you are afraid." The former is announcing different options, the latter is basically a rule. 



At any rate, I suspect I will carry on avoiding the ambiguity of using the word can, cannot, or can not, and lean toward "is able to" and "may" when I write.  Also, for the record: We have a tradition of eating ice cream for dinner once per summer at Kimball's.  Harumph.

Blake leaps forward.

We are experiencing a skill explosion in the Blake Territory.  This is a good thing, because he's now 20 months and due for some grand advancements.  He will walk all around the house holding onto a finger or two, will cruise any and all furniture, and will stand for 20-30 seconds unassisted and walk 6-8 steps before toppling.

Last week we pulled out the 3T clothes, because the 18M are way too small, and many of the 24M are too short in the legs or showing a bit of onesie midriff.  This has caused a bit of strange psych-outs between Jen and I, because with Blake wearing some of Ian's old 3T, and Ian still having (very few) Size 4 in his current wardrobe, we see something and say, "Didn't we just put that away a few months ago?"  In some cases, that may be true, because when Ian likes clothes, they'll stay in his drawer until I can see his ankles and wrists with his limbs hanging straight down.  The other problem is that many of the Size 5 or 6 pants are much too wide for our bean-pole eldest.  I have a couple of belts for him that I thread through his belt-loops, but recently he has taken to wearing red suspenders, and wore them to school a couple days this week.  It beats having to run around with one hand always tugging your trousers up during recess!

In addition to size and gross motor skills, his language has been phenomenal.  Here is list to update or old list of what we could come up with being in his vocabulary.  He will mimic many others, but these are ones that he'll see/request/speak of the object on his own.

1. apple (appa)
2. baby
3. ball (ball)
4. banana (babana)
5. bath (baf)
6. bed
7. belly button (bayee buppon)
8. bib
9. bite
10. boo!  (as in, Surprise!)
11. books (bookth)
12. boot  (booTth)
13. box
14. braces (behtheth)
15. bread
16. brother (bubba)
17. brush (bsh)
18. bum
19. bump
20. bus (buth)
21. button (buppen)
22. bye bye
23. cars
24. cat
25. chair (tcheh)
26. cheek
27. cheese (theeth)
28. chicken (thithen)
29. chin
30. choo choo
31. church (chuch)
32. close
33. coming (comin)
34. computer (puther)
35. cracker
36. crash
37. cucumber (bumba)
38. cup
39. Dad
40. dance (danth)
41. diaper (didah)
42. dog
43. done
44. down
45. downstairs
46. duck
47. feet
48. fish
49. foot
50. Gram
51. glasses (gath ess)
52. Hannah (annah)
53. hair
54. hat
55. head
56. home
57. hot 
58. Ian (yuh)
59. Jesus (theethuth)
60. juice (jooth)
61. kitchen (chichen)
62. knees
63. Libby (ibby)
64. Mama
65. meow
66. mittens
67. Nat (Natalie)
68. necklace
69. no
70. noodle (doo dt)
71. nose
72. now
73. oh my!
74. on
75. off
76. open (papen)
77. Owen (own)
78. pants
79. Papa
80. peek-a-boo 
81. pen
82. phone
83. poop
84. puppet
85. shirt 
86. shoe (boosh)
87. socks
88. spoon
89. stairs (thers)
90. teeth (teet)
91. tickle (thithle)
92. thank you (day doo)
93. toast (toes)
94. toes
95. trash
96. uh-oh
97. up (bup!)
98. upstairs 
99. what's that (wuthuh)
100. yes (yeth!)

And as a bonus, a few animal noises!

woof woof

meow

baa

baaaaaaak baba

moo

quack quack
ooh ooh ooh ah ah
roar

Happy Thanksgiving! Gourmet.

The other day I was reading about the word gourmet, because it seemed kind of interesting how many foreign food terms are used in regular English.  And I don't mean French fries, spaghetti, or pizza. Ha!  I meant words like hors d'oeuvres, crudite, and the like.  Yes, Julia Child taught us that there is an art to masterful French cooking.  We tend to have a general concept in America of high food and low food.  If I had to generalize, the high food requires a fork and comes in very small portions, and the low food might focus on flavor via fats and include buffet style serving.

A few hundred years ago, gourmet indicated decadent luxury, and was frowned upon as a violation of the Deadly Sin of gluttony.  By 1984, the term foodie was coined, which referred to a fan of food.

Apparently (from Wikipedia), a gourmet food movement picked up in the 1980s after a long-standing division between elitism and populist tastes, and has accelerated through the 2000s due to rising incomes, globalization, and health/nutrition craze.  With the growth in food awareness, we have seen many new cooking shows, channels, and fads.  In some cases, the high-brow version has become very commonplace (gourmet coffee for example).  With this trend, there have been attempts to spiff up low food, and give gourmet flair to your everyday dish.  You can find thousands of "foodie blogs" these days, also.

So now, the question is this:  Does the gourmet (original gluttony connotation or otherwise) apply to Thanksgiving?  I know very few people who will be eating conservative portions or their normal menu this weekend.

Thanksgiving dinner has some pretty weird foods.  Consider it.  Turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, squash.  Pumpkin Pie.  This is about what our menu looked like, too, though add a couple of varieties of jello salad, heavenly sweet potatoes, and butternut squash to go with it!  And Grammy Mitchell always provides about 6 varieties of pie!

from Wikipedia.

Some of these foods are only eaten once per year, but are delicious.  Not that they are decadent, but because they are traditional, perhaps.  And we don't go for dainty portions.  I had two plates worth.

The long table of loved ones.

Papa working on the bird.

Jen did the centerpieces and place-cards this year.  Didn't she do great?

Yes, that is an edible pilgrim hat, a juicy apple votive, and a cranberry/floral/mason floaty thing.

Let the games begin!

Foul Language

{I know this is a kind of strange topic for a typical Mormon boy, but I thought it was interesting... bear with me!  A personal story, then some history.}

Matthew 15:11
11 Not that which goeth into the mouth ^adefileth a man; but that which cometh out of the ^bmouth, this defileth a man.

Have you ever stubbed your toe and just felt like yelling?  Or been so mad at a situation that you felt like swearing?  Can you think of aggravation that makes you want to throw/kick/punch something?  I figure everyone has felt that way before.  Emotional release through vocalization.
Once upon a time when I thought my situation merited a swear word, the reactionary part of my brain said I should give it a try.  The word which would have fit the situation floated in my brain, but I was having a hard time getting it to slide out the chute.  I physically couldn't form the words.  I wonder if having to make teeth-marks on a bar of soap as a young man influenced that reflex.  That was our family's punishment for letting words slip out that were unfit to be spoken.
Well, when I was like 7 (prior to the above experience), we traveled up the mountain one Sunday for a joint meeting with a few other congregations.  Back in those days, while the parents were conferencing in the chapel, the children had a joint Primary meeting.  I was sitting next to some kid I didn't know, and he whispered to me $-#-@-!, spelled out letter by letter.  I had no clue what he was on about.  I figured he wanted me to sound out the word he was getting at, so I gave a guess.  He shook his head, and spelled the letters again, even more emphatically.  Thanks to ambiguous vowels, I was wrong again.  Even more exasperated, he spelled the four-letter-word, and on my third try, I got it!  The boy smiled and giggled; I must've had a blank stare on my face.  I remember on the drive home asking my parents about this curiously spelled word, and what it meant.  The answer I got was a rather terse, agitated definition and instructions to never say the word again.  I was embarrassed for ever asking.
I've had friends who seemed to think well-placed expletives can add to humor, intensify movie scripts, or emphasize that you really believe what you are saying.
Well, I've done some cursory research on the matter (ha!  get it?).  Not the words themselves, but why they have any role in society.   What I've found is that there are expletives, swear words, curse words, and profanity.  They fall roughly into these bins:
expletives: A word or phrase used to fill out a sentence or a line of verse without adding to the sense (wasted breath, then, right?).
swear words: take an oath/vow
curse/cuss words: obscene expression usually of surprise or anger
profanity: blasphemous language
(also insulting, obscene, rude, vulgar, desecrating language)

There are lots of sermons/thought points like this blog entry about choosing your words wisely.

I'm sure there has been lots of discussion about substitute expletives and how the media handles it..
Mine have been  Sheesh.  Oh Man!  Shoot.   Holy Cow.
My brother-in-law says Oh Snap!
If I lived in the 1920s, I might say Horsefeathers!  or Applesauce!  
And in Britain, perhaps Blast!

Matthew 5:33-37

 33 ¶Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not ^aforswear thyself, but shalt ^bperform unto the Lord thine ^coaths:

 34 But I say unto you, ^aSwear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s ^bthrone:

 35 Nor by the earth; for it is his ^afootstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the ^bcity of the great King.

 36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.

 37 But let your ^acommunication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh ^bof evil.

I didn't really put two and two together before, but there is a whole segment of the population who swears on ______.  Like that kid growing up who swore on his grandmother's grave [that he was telling the truth].  I had no idea what his grandmother's grave had to do with anything, but one of the things I read pointed out that the practice of asserting a higher, nobler purpose for the effort (I'm imagining the Crusaders dedicating their efforts by imagining their grandmother's graves at stake), like to bring honor or protect.   This form of oath-taking seems to have been important in affirming piety in the olden times (as evidenced also in the Sermon on the Mount verses above).  Thomas H. B Graham in The Gentleman's Magazine/Volume 271,  August 1891, pp. 192-201, gives additional examples of this form as it relates to profanity, which is "thoughtless and irreverent use of sacred words," mostly used as breach of Third Commandment without being blasphemous.

Examples of the oaths used in Chaucer's day (1340-1400) will be found in "The Reeve's Tale," where we meet with the phrases, For Goddes banes (bones), For Cristes peyne, For Cristes sowle, By Goddes hart, By Goddes sale (soul), By Goddes dignité, God wot, and Pardé (par Dieu).

and later

Lovers of Shakespeare will scarcely need to be reminded how "full of strange oaths" are the pages of that author's plays. Here are some of them:—

•  'Slight, "Twelfth Night" ii. 5, God's light; 
• 'Slid, "Merry Wives," iii. 4, God's lid; 
• 'Odsheartlings, "Merry Wives," iii. 4, God's heart;
• 'Odslifehlings, "Twelfth Night," v. 1, God's life; 
• 'Odspitikins, "Cymbeline," iv. 2, God's pity; 
• 'Odsnownes, "Merry Wives," iv. 1, God's wounds;
• 'Odsbody, "1 Henry IV.' ii. 1, and 'Odsbodikin, or 'Odsbodkin, "Hamlet," ii. 2, God's body; 
• 'Odsme, "Merry Wives," i. 4, God smite me; like the expressions, "Strike me blind," and "Strike me dumb;" 
• Zounds, "1 Henry IV. I.," God's wounds; 
• By cock, "Hamlet," iv. 5, by God; 
• By cock and pye, "Merry Wives," i. 1, By God and the Pie. The Pie was the Ordinal, or Book of Church Offices, referred to in the Preface to the Book of Common Prayer. It is said to have derived its name from the pied appearance which the large black lettering gave to its pages. This oath probably suggested the association of bird's names in the sign of the old tavern, which gave their name to the "Cock and Pie Fields," Drury Lane.
•  By my halidom, "Two Gentlemen," iv. 2, By my holidom or holiness.

Then Mr. Graham gives a little attention to the Puritans.  Good old, reverent Puritans!

During the time of the Commonwealth, profane swearing was vigorously suppressed, together with play-acting and other popular amusements, which appeared worldly to the Puritan eye. We read in "Hansard's Parliamentary History,' that on June 28, 1650, a law was made that every person styling himself a duke, marquis, earl, viscount, or baron, who profanely cursed or swore, should forfeit thirty shillings, a baronet or knight twenty shillings, an esquire ten shillings, a gentleman six shillings and eight pence, and all inferior persons three shillings and four pence. Wives and widows were to pay penalties equivalent to what their husbands would have paid, and single women according to their father's rank.  

And for penalties for swearing in England,

"At last, in the nineteenth year of King George II., a statute was passed, which recites that "forasmuch as the horrid, impious, and execrable vices of profane cursing and swearing (so highly displeasing to Almighty God, and loathsome and offensive to every Christian), are become so frequent and notorious, that, unless speedily and effectually punished, (sic) they may justly provoke the Divine vengeance... after June 1, 1746, any person convicted before a magistrate, on the testimony of one witness, of profanely cursing and swearing, should forfeit a sum of money proportionate to his status in the social scale. For this purpose the British public were divided into three classes :—
(1) Day labourers, common soldiers, common sailors, and common seamen, who were to be fined one shilling for every oath.
(2) Other persons under the degree of a gentleman, who were to pay two shillings.
(3) Persons of or above the degree of a gentleman, who were to forfeit the sum of five shillings for each oath they uttered."

So to conclude this long post.  I'm all on-board with the arguments against cussing and profanity.  But what of the expletives that are merely thoughtless?  Is there really any harm in declaring Horsefeathers! or Blast!

Few words... but it's intonation!!

{a joe post.  still worth reading, though!}
We once had our friend from collage, Jennaye, who had served a mission to Taiwan, describe speaking Mandarin as all in the intonation.  I remember sitting around the living room trying out the ways to say "ma", which depending on how it was said, could mean "mother", "horse", or the word indicating a question was posed.  Honestly, I can't type intonation, so I'm not going to try to impersonate how that discussion sounded.  But rest assured, the same consonant and vowel can be put together with a different sing-song to mean something completely different.

We have an 18 month old linguist in the house that understands this principle.  His name is Blake, and he knows how to use similar consonant/vowel combinations to indicate a host of words.  Until you spend a little time with him, it's tough to know what "Dah" means.  Here's a primer in the language of our dearest Blake.

Unknown meaning:
assah.  (not sure really, but could be what's that? or maybe awesome!)


Word,  Blake Version
Dad, dad
Uh-oh, uh-oh
(not interested yet?)

No, nun  (German, perhaps?)

Yes, dah  (is that Scandinavian?)

Ball, bah

Up, bup

Down, dah  (now, do you mean yes? or down?)

Noodle, doo-dt

Cat, dat ("I want dat": a potentially confusing sentence)

Dog, dah or oof-oof

Bite, bup

Bath, bahf

Car, dahr

Cheese, chiz

Done, dut or ahhhh-dah

Brother, buh-buh
Papa, pa-pa

and finally, the much anticipated term

Mama, mom-mom.

Addendum 10/12/2011
I've asked Blake to tell me some of his other words, and this is what he came up with.  Also, keep in mind that all of blakes words slide upward  _-^ in pitch toward the end, they way you might say "really?" or "want to go?"

Teeth, theeth
Tickle, thithle
Shoes, boo  (boots?)
Cup, bup
Spoon, poo