They need me.

At parent/teacher conferences this week, Ian's first grade teacher encouraged us to work with Ian's reading fluency.  That is, blending phrases together and recognizing sight words into a speaking cadence.

Of course, this is with good reason-- he reads at a first grade level, and sometimes when Ian is reading, he needs a little boost.  As a Dad, I feel needed similar to when he was learning to pump the swing or ride a bike and wanted a little push.

Tonight we were reading scriptures, and he got hung up on a word (they have diction difficult enough for even the seasoned reader, of course!)  The funny part was that he was hung up on the word "words".  He'd say "wahrds" then look at me, then I'd say, "Look at the words" and then he'd have to find his place again.  Then he'd iterate and say "wohrds" and then look at me again to see if he got it right.  His teacher mentioned that he does this to her too, and she of course makes him struggle through it until he gets it.  Well, I am cunning, and a jokester, so given this opportunity, I said even more emphatically, "Look.  at. the. WORDS."  He looked down, then a huge smile crossed his face, and he said "WORDS!"   He thought that was really funny!

It made me think of some of those times when a child really does need a parent.  You know, those times when my boys try something, then look up to see if I noticed that they tried-- not knowing if they failed or not.  Sometimes it is acknowledged failure, but still.

Modern Art

Have a good look at this picture.  Tell me what you see.

Now think to yourself, "Why in the world is this important, and why does Joe want me to think about this odd collection of things?"  It's a sculpture, comprised of:

7 Company Tokens
1 Singalong CD
1 Finding Nemo DVD
1 Spoon
1 Duplo Car
1 Playdough Lid
1 Soda Bottle Cap
1 Hair Elastic
1 Twistable Crayon
1 Side-panel to a Computer Tower

Okay, now let's think back to this post.

Yes, this collection of things was dug out of the innards of our computer on "annual clean the dust out of the heat sink night."  You know that night has come when your computer's fan spins into overdrive every five minutes asking for a little more cooling power.  Anyway, our computer has a HP Hard Drive Expansion Bay in the front, which is very convenient for short and long term storage purposefully placed by my beloved two year old.  I really love Blake.  He never ceases to amaze me, though.

And now, it'd be a good time to put that spoon back into service with a late-night scoop of ice-cream!

Go fetch with Blake.

I have realized that there are definitely merits to having children who can run errands.  They slowly learn to put away their own things.  To find their lost things.  To get things that I need.

Most of the help I ask of the boys is mildly useful to nearly inconsequential, because they are still in the training phase.  But of course, every bit of responsibility is important to their developing skillset!

Here's an example of how this went down this morning:


Scene:  Dad has a drippy nose and is trying to employ two-and-a-half year old Blake's energy to bring him a tissue or toilet paper or something to blow it.

Me: Blake, could you go get me a tissue?  I need to blow my nose.
Blake: Yes, daddy.  [trudge, trudge, thump thump thump]
[Blake comes back from who-knows-where-he-went empty handed.]
Me: Blake, what happened to the tissue?  You have to go to the bathroom, tear of a piece of toilet paper, and bring it to daddy.
Blake: Otay, daddy.  [trudge, trudge, pat pat pat]
[Blake comes back from the bathroom with a little fleck of corner torn off the toilet paper, maybe the size of a bandaid.]
Blake: Tantoo daddy.
Me: Yes, Blake, thank you.  Can you get me another piece?  This time unroll the toilet paper and bring me back two squares.
Blake: Otay, daddy.  [thump, thump, pat pat pat]
[A minute later, he brings me back a piece large enough to blow my nose into.]

I love having a boy who can fetch things for me, even if it takes iterations!

Success!  he unrolled the toilet paper and brought me two squares back.

Stop It!

First, a side note.  I wonder if we'll consider the 2010's as the decade of the internet memes... I first heard the word meme a couple of years ago.  From Wikipedia:

 A meme ( /ˈmiːm/; meem)^[1] is "an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture."^[2] A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.^[3]

Most of that selectivity and replication and self-replication is on Facebook.  The originals all were an image with a black border and a brief phrase below, like a motivational poster.  Then they were superimposed dialogue on interesting pictures.  Then there was the "What you think you do/what your mom thinks you do... etc" and the simple vintage-style line drawings with a housewife and a caption.

Well the context for my thinking about this is when I was reviewing the LDS General Conference talk given in October 2012 by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf entitled "The Merciful Obtain Mercy." The talk was wonderfully pointed and motivational to the end of forgiving those who offend us, avoiding casting judgement, and seeing our fellow man from the perspective that God sees them.  The main punchline was that the solution to these ills is "STOP IT!"  (Elder Uchtdorf always has quotable quotes.)  You can see where this is headed.

And sure enough there are many to choose from.  Here's one that highlights the main take-away of the talk:

Here's another designer's version.  Briefer, to the point.

I like this one, too, as it is simple, direct, to the point.  I could envision this being framed art or wall art or passed around on Facebook.

You want more choices?  Google with keywords 'stop it Uchtdorf' or some combination thereof, and you get a whole host of options.  Honestly!  People must have really felt motivated by those words!  It's not that they are so interesting or remarkable or intricate; the secret to extending mercy is to simply stop judging. 

Please review the talk for all its simplicity.  If you want to see what a living prophet of God looks like, you can watch this two minute snippet.

Highlights?

Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change”⁸ of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.

How is it done? Through the love of God.

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. We “keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world.”⁹

The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

 Then jumping to the end: 

Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect.¹⁹ People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy.

Of this I testify in the name of the One who loved so well and so completely that He gave His life for us, His friends—in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 I am Joseph Jackson and I approve of this message.  (Isn't it remarkably simple, yet true?)

Things I like about Jen.

This was another blog topic fed to me by my dear one.

Here are 31 things I like about Jen.  Arbitrary number, of course.

1. She is a fantastic writer.  She wrote me emails, missionary letters, AIM chats, lunch love notes and the like throughout our courtship which were well-thought-out and lovely to read.
2. She is thoughtful.  She sends people cookies, black beans, and cake mixes in the mail when their local grocery options are limited.  
3. She is an extraordinary cook.  She has a great command of a whisk and other kitchen paraphenalia, and can innovate upon a recipe to make it taste better.
4. She is compassionate.  Early in our marriage she brought up the idea of "giving a gift to Jesus" which really entailed giving financially for the benefit of the poor and needy.  I was touched.
5. She's a cautious driver.  Jen keeps the rules of the road and gives plenty of space to the hooligans who drive around here.  She even coaches to help this hooligan drive more courteously.
6. She is punctual.  When I have a place to be with Jen, we are never late.  It's quite nice to be early to meetings/classes/appointments, because then we get a good seat and can be calm.
7. She's got the softest skin.  This one is a little harder to observe if you're not nearby.  She passed on the soft skin gene to Blake also, who is kissably soft.
8. She has a sense of fashion.  Not only does that keep her snappily dressed, but it helps me up my game.  I receive compliments on days I wear clothing Jen picked out or purchased.
9. She's very intelligent.  She keeps up with current events among our nation and the nations of the world.  She knows the opinions of people I've never heard of, and knows why countries are hurting.
10. She's a cartophile.  Have you been to our house to see the Map of the World Showercurtain?  It's yet one more reason to take a long, warm shower when you come to New Engla nd.
11. Fall is her favorite season. I had never thought through my reasons to have a favorite season, because they all have something to offer.  But to a Mainer, the world is just crisper and more beautiful in fall.
12. Her hair.  Oh, her hair.  Have you seen it recently?  It shines, has a little curl, and she has discovered how to be the "hair whisperer" to make it into the most beautiful array of locks.
13. She is thrifty.  She can take $5 and turn it into something wonderful, through yard sales, thrifting, deal-hunting, or innovating with items on hand.  She's also willing to leave the money in the bank.
14. She is crafty.  And who doesn't like a craft?  She's handy with a glue gun, sewing machine, vinyl cutter, photo editing software, cross-stitch, and crochet hook.  Yeah, all of the above.
15. She likes to hand-stitch the bindings on her quilts.  Yeah, I didn't know what a binding was a few years ago.  But Jen has a knack for it, and makes some beautiful fabric creations.
16. She's got the cutest wrinkly-nose smile.  She used to do it alot more, but I guess I teased it away.  My comments weren't supposed to scare it into submission, but I don't see those wrinkles much anymore.
17. She's got compassion for children.  She doesn't even have to know them, and her heart swells up with desires for their well-being.  It grieves her soul when help is beyond her control.
18. She takes immaculate notes.  She was a research office secretary, then a Department secretary at BYU's business school, so she has a talent for connecting her ears to her hands to paper.
19. She can type like a hundred words per minute, or something obscenely fast, at least.  And she only uses 6 fingers, folks!  It's amazing.  I admire that she could use that skill to pump out college papers.
20. She wants me to succeed.  She urged me into my educational plan, she helps prep me for business meetings, she lets me try out new handyman projects to see if they work.
21. She has a beautiful alto singing voice.  We used to sing in the choir together, and it was lots of fun to be able to pick her voice out among the other altos.  I guess that comes of years of listening to her.
22. She can tickle the ivories, too!  It's one of my favorite things to brag about on Jen's behalf, and perhaps one of the things that embarrasses Jen the most when I tell them.  She really is talented.
23. She's humble about her skill-set.  Though, she really could give herself more credit for being awesome.  She is a woman so well-versed that she doesn't need to be shy about it, after all.
24. She gave me children.  That is to say, she and I are raising 2.5 sons together, and I love that she has dedicated her professional life to rearing them in love and righteousness.  I love that she loves them.
25. She shops with a grocery list.  This is no ordinary grocery list either.  It's based upon a weekly menu.  And charted out according the store floor-plan.  And has target prices for the produce aisle.
26. She can drive a stick-shift.  We honeymooned driving a Plymouth Sundance.  Then our first summer together, we borrowed the Justy.  Then we bought the Outback, the car of my dreams.
27. She wants me to have a garage.  To house my workshop.  And my canoe.  Which garage would naturally be attached to a house in a suburb or rural area.  In which we'll raise our posse of children.
28. She prioritizes clean sheets.  This means that I get that crisp fresh feeling on a regular basis and sleep well at night with the tight weave tickling my toes.
29. She enjoys charts.  Including my geeky charts about our family energy consumption, budget, or height.  She offers to help me create charts to help me organize for my calling at church, etc.
30. She appreciates antiques.  I see much beauty in things as they were, and really enjoy seeing things persist across generations.  Hand-me-down vintage clothing, old furniture, tools, appliances.  Neat!
31. She knows I love her.  The reason I like it is because knowing that she knows makes it so much easier to step aside from disagreements and refocus on the big picture sometimes.

On Encouragement

Perhaps among the most admirable, motivating character traits I could describe is encouragement.

I remember having my parents, teachers, grandparents, and other adults often give encouragement and advice.  These wise folks have told me that I was doing a good job, have nudged me along when I was feeling tired or insignificant, or have given me ideas for other approaches to try to solve my problems.  And you know what?  These types of remarks make a contribution to my life.

When in college, I remember a Sunday School class once where for some reason we were decomposing character traits of good teachers or good friends or whatever, and what I remember taking from that lesson is that there are people in this world that make me feel better about myself because they compliment regarding what I am good at doing.  These people are the first to notice successes and cheer others along even if they haven't been able to see the end of their quest yet.  There's a sense of gratitude for other people's efforts, regardless of the outcome.  Several men in my apartment building were masters of the art of encouragement, and they were positively a blessing to all of us peers.

I believe these words from a prophet of God, Elder Henry B. Eyring, (Oct, 2012, Help Them Aim High)

Every person is different and has a different contribution to make. No one is destined to fail. As you seek revelation to see gifts God sees in those you lead in the priesthood—particularly the young—you will be blessed to lift their sights to the service they can perform. With your guidance, those you lead will be able to see, want, and believe they can achieve their full potential for service in God’s kingdom.

Part of it I believe is like coaching.  You know, the "teaching the man to fish" paradigm.  Or if you aren't teaching him, at least you are motivating him to learn to fish.  The other part, I think is the principle of lifting a man when he is down.

The last couple of weeks, my spare-time Netflix show has been watching old seasons of Merlin, a BBC production of various adventures in Camelot, starring Colin Morgan.  It's over-the-top dramatically with alot of cliche script, but it really works for the series.  Since it is based on legend, when you listen to the delivery of the lines, you almost come to believe that the cliche is only cliche because the Arthurian legends is where it all began, and has been imitated ever since then.

Episode 3.2 as they are readying for battle against an enemy of Camelot, where they are estimated to be out-numbered 2 to 1, there is an uncharacteristic pep-talk that takes place between the prince and his servant.  In this series, Merlin is a "closeted" warlock, as magic is outlawed in Camelot.  Arthur believes Merlin to be a clumsy oaf, though it's really Merlin who secretly saves Arthur from a variety of dangerous circumstances.  When you read this, add a dramatic score in your mind, insert pauses and serious eyes staring between the characters.

Arthur:  It's not like you to get nervous, is it Merlin?
Merlin: I'm not nervous.
Arthur: No?
Merlin: Because I trust in your destiny.
Arthur: Have you been on the cider?
Merlin: {Draws sword to give to Arthur} It is your fate to be the greatest King Camelot has ever known.  And your victory today will be remembered by every age until the end of time.
Arthur: {Accepts sword.}
Merlin: Just trust in yourself.
[Long pause]
Arthur: There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of-- I don't know what it is--What is it?--It's not wisdom--Yes.  That's what it is.
Don't look so pleased, the rest of the time you are a complete idiot.

These words were undoubtedly encouraging and strengthening.  The writers could have done better than this cheesy exchange, no doubt, but it works with the theme.  I guess to look at a nobler source, here are several quotes from the Bible under several related topics:


Don't be afraid Deut 31:6
17 For our light ^aaffliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and ^beternal ^cweight of glory;
18 While we look not at the things which are ^aseen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen aretemporal; but the things which are not ^bseen are ^ceternal.

6 Be strong and of a good ^acourage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the ^bLord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not ^cfail thee, nor ^dforsake thee.

It won't be so bad 1 Cor 10:13

13 There hath no temptation ^ataken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be^btempted above that ye are able; but will with the ^ctemptationalso make a way to ^descape, that ye may be able to ^ebear it.

Overcoming 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the ^ainward man is renewed day by day.

Peace John 14:27

27 ^aPeace I leave with you, my ^bpeace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be ^ctroubled, neither let it be afraid.

Constancy Deuteronomy 7:9 

9 Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which ^akeepeth covenant and ^bmercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;

Seems like there are lots of aspects to this.  On the person to person side, I suppose encouragement also includes being a good listener.  Yes, I feel most validated and encouraged when someone listens to me as though what I have to say is important.  It's a part of the interpersonal relationship that uplifts and inspires.

A Photo Essay: Cape Cod Sunrise

This morning I left the house at 6am.  Yes, I did it for fun.  I find that when I'm on vacation, it's nice every once in a while to go watch the sunrise.  Then to find a few geocaches.  I'm compulsive like that.

This week for Thanksgiving we went to Cape Cod to visit GG and Great Papa.  It was our first trip that direction for Turkey day, and we made a great time of it!  They are so wonderful.  After having three days of Turkey Dinner, I think I'll have to reduce my portion size next week... especially since after each meal I enjoyed a "sampler platter" with a sliver of three or four pies.  For the week: apple, blueberry, coconut cream, pecan, and pumpkin.

Anyway, here's a selection of pictures that I took this morning on our walk down to Cockle Cove and Forest Beach.  Later, we hit the bicycle path to go find some additional geocaches.

Forest Beach, Chatham, MA.  Sunrise at 6:42 a.m.

The air was fresh, the sky was clear enough to get some color.

Brother-in-law Sean came with me for the morning jaunt.

Chatham-style vandalism: Let's paint scenery on the "Stay off the seagrass signage."

Shells washed ashore en masse on this beach.

Our hike down the rail trail was equally relaxing.  Sean found his favorite pillow.

Down on the Cape, it's intriguing to see more moss up in the trees than on the ground.

Yes, that's me.  Approaching the Tree Cemetery.

Green Sheet Friday.

Black Friday?  Perhaps.  But forevermore, in my mind, this is Green Sheet Friday!
Ten Years ago today, on the day after Thanksgiving, Jennifer and I started colluding about how to prepare for a pending engagement and ultimately marriage.  We mutually decided that it was the path that our lives were destined to take, so ever-logically, we started drafting the factors that need to be under consideration to help make it happen.

We pulled out a green sheet of paper and began brainstorming.  Through the years, we've talked about "the green sheet", though I don't know that we've known where it was.  Recently, I stumbled upon it again.

As we look through it, it's interesting to see that our biggest concerns were finances and timing.  We trusted that everything else would take care of itself.  After 10 years, I can attest that we made it through the engagement and early marriage years successfully; finances have worked out and we've never had any regrets on the timing. 

On the back, we made "rules of engagement."  These flowed down from two courses I think.  First, we had a great bishop who counseled single adults to stay "out of the box."  The box was pretty much any private place where a couple was confined away from others.  So we had a few rules about being inclusive.  We had rules about respecting personal space and making the most of our time together.  Together, we felt the rules would put us in a place where we could have a respectful engagement that would keep us out of the box.  Since they include some cultural references that you might not get, and I wouldn't want to embarrass Jen, I've left of the actual images of the green sheet..

For the fun of it, we wrote down the responses of our friends as we told them, as follows, for those who can't read my script:

Jen and Joe (interested party): I just want you!

Steve (my roommate): Well good, Joe.  [eyes roll]

Joe's parents: I'm so happy for you.

Ben and family (apartment-mate): Well, it is tradition to ask permission.

Jen's parents: Oh you are?

Isaac (longtime friend): You're kidding, right?

Amy (Jen's best friend/coworker): ---Awww!

Jared (Joe's best friend):  I can't believe you.  I'll still have you for the next semester.

Shannon and Chris (engaged roommate):  Hahahah! Congratulations!

Matt Duke (the ward bachelor): Oh reaaaaally?

Jenn Alder (Jen's best friend/roommate): Ahhhhh!

Erin Steck (Jen's apartment-mate): --No. Way.

So that is the story of the Green Sheet.  The evidence is clear that everything Jen and Joe were bound to do would be thoughtful, methodical, and structured!

Happy 10 years of commitment, dear!

A Brief Photo Essay: Thanksgiving.

This year is our first ever Thanksgiving on Cape Cod.  We've done Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, New Years, and several in-between days at Chatham over the years, but never a Thanksgiving.  Our lucky day!

Here's what it looked like:

The Place-tags, courtesy of Jennifer'ose.

The Serving Buffet: In Action.

My Portion.  Firsts and Seconds on One Plate.

The Company.  Blake slept through the whole dinner.

Whoops!

Today at work I was working through some problems with our subcontractors at BYU (fun to have contracts with my grad-school advisor), and I mentioned one of the big gaps in the research to date.  This was a realm where we don't really have any theoretical results to back up our practical observations.  I'm all for observations, but unless you can prove it, the observations are ... just observations.

An hour after the phone call, one of the graduate students sent me a paper he had written for a class project that shows some justifications with some theoretical background for me to review, and I printed it and left it on the printer for a few minutes.  The CEO and founder of my company stopped by my desk a few minutes later and asked about this document that had been generated for a class project-- because it had been a derivative work from one of his seminal papers from 1971!  The student cited his sources, but agreed that there wasn't much new or innovative beyond the 1971 paper.  Our CEO asked to keep that copy and wanted to review it.

Here's the good part.  When the student replicated the original work, he hadn't realized that the original author was my company's founder, much less thought that his replica of the work would be snatched off the printer by the originator   He was mortified.  When I told him that his document was under review by "one of the greats" I'm pretty sure he felt like slinking into a crevice somewhere.  He didn't do anything wrong, but he certainly was embarrassed to have overlooked the connection!

Well, we all do embarrassing things sometimes.  Here I will share two old ones, and two new ones, just so you can laugh at me.  Cause that's what embarrassment does for a person--provides joy for others.

Old #1.

Elder Jackson and Elder Landon playing the Nose Harp, Spring 2002, England London Mission.

 My mother has helped me develop many talents.  One of those is playing the nose harp.  I must say I am quite good at it, and my harp has near-perfect pitch and a wonderful kazoo-style buzz.  You can try too!  Wrinkle your nose, hum a tune, and strum one nostril while holding the other one closed.  Nominally, this is not (too) embarrassing.  The level of embarrassment increases drastically if you have biological projectiles awaiting the first pluck of the old pipes.  My most recent attempt proved to be a catastrophe, and I abandoned my solo.

Old #2.

Elder Jackson, Winter 2001, at the Lowestoft Flat.

This was a time when I had... swelled a bit.  I don't look so bad here, but I gained about 30 pounds at one point as a missionary, and thus, my clothes wore a bit differently.  Here we see the results of changes in geometry matched with riding a bicycle every day.  JCPenney was good to sell me a suit with two sets of trousers, because once someone identified that my whites were showing through my blacks, I couldn't get changed fast enough!

New #1.

I was at a training meeting last month with a small group of participants and one trainer.  (It was a Scout Leader training for Venturing, for those interested.)  I was loving the material, and was enthusiastic with my responses to the trainer's questions.  At one point when the trainer was describing a particular part of the organizational structure, I (accidentally) reverberated my chair with a wee bit of flatulence.  (Is there a more polite way of saying that?)  

I was willing to be mature and just ignore it, as were my fellow participants.  However, the trainer, a very polite and respectable older man, had thought I was volunteering an interjection and had something to say.  "Yes Joe?"  Only, I could think of nothing to say to recover, so I awkwardly fumbled, "Oh, nothing, carry on!"  At that point, two of my classmates looked at me with a wink and a nod, as if to say, "Hahahahhahahahaha!!!!"

New #2.
This problem is more typical of men/boys.  My mom had a code-word.  XYZ stood for eXamine Your Zipper. Very discreet.  Well, it's tough to be discreet when you discover you are standing for the rest hymn very reverently up on the rostrum in front of 200 of your fellow-worshippers, and you discover you have 3.5 verses until the song is over and you can sit down again.  The most agonizing 3.5 verses of my life.  

There are several  reasons this problem might come about.  When I was a kid, I used to have a pair of jeans with a slippery zipper.  I probably celebrated the day when I outgrew them after the constant attention they required.  The offending trousers this summer had a button, a hook, and a zipper.  Getting 2 of the 3 fit the normal rhythm of dressing in my typical pants, and I have neglected part three on multiple occasions with these slacks.
In a small group, it's easy to cover the offending zipper until an opportune time comes.  But when you are holding your hymnbook at chest-level, THEN what do you do?  Turn around to face the wall?  Slowly drop my hymnal to waist level?  Clasp my hands in front of me to obscure the XYZ issue?  Do a quick down-and-up fixer action?  I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't draw attention.  So I wore it well until the hymn was over.  Luckily, most people don't watch the conductor when they sing.   Quick as a flash, while people were transitioning to be seated, I tugged the old YKK until I was secure again.  

Nobody said anything about it.  But still, I'm tortured to think, "How many people wanted to give me a wink and a nod as if to say, 'Hahahhahahah!'"?

Mostly Done.

This is a treatise on Why I don't untie my shoes.

Not that it's a newsworthy topic, but when I asked Jen at the beginning of the month what she thought I should write about, this is one of the ideas she pitched.  So here goes.

First an image of a cute puppy.   He almost made it.  via.

Have you ever been in a situation where you had a job to do, and you realized that the constraints were so tight that you could do 50% of the job and get 95% of the benefit?  It sounds terrible, I know.  The words, lazy, slacker, unmotivated, and half-hearted come to my mind.  None of these are words that I imagine anyone wants to use to describe themselves.  They are the type of words that you'll never find on a resume, that you'll never hear a person pride themselves in, and that you'll probably never hear come from someone's mouth with a smile on their face.

BUT--

What about the other side of the coin?  You know-- the "glass half full" interpretation of that situation.  In the financial world, people get huge bonuses for ideas like that.  People use the words efficient, savvy, innovative, and advantage.  I see a whole side of the issue that says that given a limited set of resources, where can I get the largest return on a minimum investment?

I think this is how I see the "To untie or not to untie" debate.  To me, untying shoes that will just need to be tied again is somewhat of a waste of (time) resources.  In a world where clogs and slip-on shoes abound, why not just loosely tie the shoes so they can effectively be slip-ons?   Granted, there are athletic shoes that need to be cinched up to perform properly, as you shouldn't hike, run, climb in loose-fitting shoes.  But cruising around the office?  Or walking to school?  Sounds acceptably leisurely to me.  And what of the "You'll break the heel!" argument?  Well, it's a good one, especially if the shoe is tied so tightly that they do not approximate the comfort of slip-on shoes.  Therefore, if you have to wriggle and jam your feet to get the heel to slide into a tied shoe... you better untie them.  But if you can easily shoe-horn the footwear on-- I say go for it.  Leave them tied.

Shoes aren't the only domain where people historically give a half-hearted effort.  Here are a bunch of stereotypical and otherwise examples of people doing 50% of the work to get 95% of the benefit.  Consider:

• Make bed-- or at least pull the covers up.
• Close the bathroom door--or at least swing it so it obscures the toilet.
• Put the toilet seat and cover down--or at least don't leave a mess.
• Take the trash out at the end of the night--or at least get to it when it's full.
• Put away the folded laundry--or at least put the clean stack in your room.
• Put dirty clothes in the hamper--or at least gather them on laundry day.
• Throw away the gas station receipts--or at least get to them on semi-annual car cleanout day.
• Put things away--or at least stack things at the bottom/top of the stairs for the next trip up.
• Take care of the yard--or at least mow the lawn but not trim around the edges.
• Get all your shopping done--or at least get the food in the trunk and let the next person put the cart away.
• Get on your Sunday best--or at least sling a pre-tied necktie loosely over your unbuttoned collar.
• Put your toys away--at least so they don't get run over (even if they'll still get rained on).
• Write a great paper--or at least get the polished draft written without spell-checking.

See what I mean?  There are LOTS of ways that we go halfsies to mostly get the job done.  People have their "things", you know?  I put away my dirty laundry and clean laundry, but I don't tie my shoes. 

Crusades: How to have a holy war.

Here we combine yesterday's hinting at some of the fundamentals of the Crusades, last week's Veteran's day, and the Sunday school lesson yesterday about war/battles as mentioned in the scriptures.

The Crusades were a series of religious expeditionary wars blessed by Pope Urban II and the Catholic Church, with the stated goal of restoring Christian access to the holy places in and near Jerusalem. (Wikipedia)  Somehow, since Veteran's day was on Sunday, the talks last week at church wandered into the realm of life being hard for soldiers and families of soldiers, who give most of their attention to selfless acts of devotion to our country.  Not your typical Sacrament Service.  Lastly, yesterday's Sunday School lesson focused primarily on what parents can do to teach their children to be good Christians, which included elements of devotion, patriotism, and fulfilling expectations even when the going gets rough.

via.

I'm not normally one to think about war and fighting, as it generally makes me a bit squeamish.  Recently I have come to a greater sense of empathy, too, which makes it easier to see the human side of an "enemy".  But, with all this talking of war, I wanted to discover what the Book of Mormon says about war.  

What I learned falls into three categories:
I. The Lord will add confidence to the righteous that He will deliver them out of the hands of their enemies.
II. War inspired by a better cause, e.g. family, home, rights, religion, is a duty of believers.
III. Wars of aggression will never be sanctioned by God.

These are the verses I read which taught me these directives:
Alma 58:11-12

11 Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our ^adeliverance in him.
 12 And we did take courage with our small force which we had received, and were fixed with a determination to conquer our enemies, and to^amaintain our lands, and our possessions, and our wives, and our children, and the cause of our ^bliberty.

Lord Spoke Assurances of deliverance, and provided peace, faith, and hope.  The fighting force's conviction to conquer was for the sake of maintaining their possessions, and protecting the liberty of their families.  It was not, "a conquering we'll go" with the expectation of building a kingdom.  It was to allow them to continue to work for their sustenance and enjoy the freedom to make their livelihood.

Alma 43:45-47

 45 Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a ^abetter cause, for they were not ^bfighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their ^cliberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church.
 46 And they were doing that which they felt was the^aduty which they owed to their God; for the Lord had said unto them, and also unto their fathers, that: ^bInasmuch as ye are not guilty of the ^cfirst offense, neither the second, ye shall not suffer yourselves to be slain by the hands of your enemies.
 47 And again, the Lord has said that: Ye shall ^adefend your families even unto ^bbloodshed. Therefore for this cause were the Nephites contending with the Lamanites, to defend themselves, and their families, and their lands, their country, and their rights, and their religion.

See?  I knew I remembered that it was not for monarchy or power.  They felt duty driven to defend their families to the end.  So I was interested to find out what this first and second offense was.

Here was one of the cross-references.  3 Ne 3:21

 21 But Gidgiddoni saith unto them: The Lord ^aforbid; for if we should go up against them the Lord would^bdeliver us into their hands; therefore we will prepare ourselves in the center of our lands, and we will gather all our armies together, and we will not go against them, but we will wait till they shall come against us; therefore as the Lord liveth, if we do this he will deliver them into our hands.

Okay, so one offense would have been to be the aggressor.  Deliverance was not promised if they aggressed, but only if they stood with their armies to defend their lands.  Ultimately, I suppose the truth of the matter is that we can do no wrong if we heed the Master's directive from Luke 6:29:

^aAnd unto him that ^bsmiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that ^ctaketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.

Then once you've been smitten twice, or had your cloke and your coat taken, then you are justified in saying "enough is enough"?  Well, as long as the defense is performed humbly, in a nutshell, without flaunting God's power as though He could be commanded to fulfill our short-sighted goals.  Mormon 3:9-11

9 And now, because of this great thing which my people, the Nephites, had done, they began to ^aboast in their own strength, and began to swear before the heavens that they would avenge themselves of the blood of their brethren who had been slain by their enemies.
 10 And they did ^aswear by the heavens, and also by the throne of God, that they ^bwould go up to battle against their enemies, and would cut them off from the face of the land.
 11 And it came to pass that I, Mormon, did utterly^a refuse from this time forth to be a commander and a leader of this people, because of their wickedness and abomination.

From this brief exercise, I think I've come to the conclusion that it's expected that we stand up for truth and virtue, acting humbly in defense of God's gifts to us.  If we do it His way, then surely we'll be on the successful side.