New House, First week in Review

We have lots of things to like about the new house.  After having a week of ownership, and just a few days of occupancy:

Things I really really like
Basement storage room
washing machine with superior agitation
garden shed (10x12!)
carpeted playroom
extra shower
sun porch  (it was 75 deg when on a 45 deg day!)

Things I like, but I'll have to get used to
Wood floors in our main living area (must protect!)
Temperature fluctuations in a house with many rooms
Electric cooking range
Sounds of a oil burning heater
The clink/clank/whoosh of the hot water baseboards
Turning off lights in the myriad of rooms in the house
Where the right light switches are
Eating in a Dining Room!


Just for funsies, I should mention that we hit the perfect day for move-in.  The day before was rainy and drab, the day after had 20 mph winds.  Also, the bottom dropped out of the temperature and some sincerely winter weather has blown in!  I'd like to think that Heavenly Father ordered up some nice weather for our move.

Day 7: Unpacking

Unpacking boxes after a move is the tricky part, isn't it?  All of a sudden, you have to make a home for things that are homeless.  Things either find their way into your cabinet, closet, or shelf because you need them, or you don't need them at all, and they need to be sent (to basement, to Craigslist, to charity).

Ian's room was the most simple to unpack.  We did it on Saturday, which included setting up a bed, situating a bookshelf, sliding his dresser into his 7 foot closet (!) and plugging in a lamp.

The little boys' room was also pretty easy.  Position the dressers and beds where they need to be, put the rocking chair on a rug, and voila!  We have a room!

The dining room was mostly easy.  Set up the table and chairs (add felt sliders!), position the piano, and unpack the card catalog (still in process).

Other than these two rooms, there's nothing easy about unpacking.  Unpacking wisdom from Father-in-law: Decide what stays, goes, gets sold BEFORE you unpack it.  Don't "put it away" if you don't want it.  Therefore, we have lots of boxes that aren't unpacked because a) we haven't figured out where to put things, or b) we haven't decided if things are valuable enough to stay or go.

In the kitchen I made some headway, because I wanted to eat oatmeal out of a dish using a spoon.  Therefore I needed a dish and a spoon.  The dishes and utensils are basically unpacked, and I think we've found our cooking ingredients.  I set up the basement pantry quite thoroughly, I think, and it's looking pretty good.  We were trying something new with appliances (not storing them in the island the way we did at the last house) but the cabinets are a smidge too small.  I think we're going to have to revise that plan.

{To be added when I get a chance: Before and After of the kitchen.}

One awesome thing about the new house:  Tons of basement shelves!  Walls of storage shelves in the storage room.  They basically line the entirety of the walls under the addition, making an awesome storage room.

My intent with the basement is to have all of the food pantry shelves to the left, food storage in stacks in the storage room, and everything else either neatly stacked in the storage room or organized on a work bench.

{Basement unpacking pictures forthcoming!}

Day 6: Loading and Unloading

The sun comes up early when it's moving day!  I had reserved a truck for 7am so our work crews wouldn't have to spend too much time away from their families (most of the folks helping were from church, though I had a friend from work, and a neighbor pitched in as well).  The good news: the Uhaul location is between the old house and new house.  The bad news: They didn't have the truck I wanted when I made the reservation, so I ended up with a very puny 14 footer.   After seeing what was left in the living room, I thought, "This should still fit in a single load, since I had taken a half-dozen loads of boxes and things earlier in the week.  If it doesn't, I can over-flow into another van trip or something."   That turned out to be pinnacle of under-estimation.  (We ended up needing three full truck loads and two full van-loads on Saturday.)

The beautiful thing was there was lots of help to get things out of the house and into the truck. Jen had contracted three teenagers to help.  I had a father-in-law who does a great job of putting the puzzle pieces together to be efficient with space.  Then there was 6 other adults on the team.  Makes for a quicker back and forth to spread the work wealth!  (I'm so glad everyone came, it would have taken much longer with a smaller crew!)

The objective was big things in the first load, but it became evident that we weren't going to make it all in the first load once we got to looking at the dimensions of our prized card catalog.  That was when I committed in my mind to the card catalog.   When I was helping load up food storage and basement items, it became further evident that we weren't going to make it all in the second load.   The third load was almost strictly basement storage and appliances (washer/dryer), bicycles, gardening stuff, and other pre-packed items stored in the basement.

There were only two snags at the new house, and I think there's a remidiation plan for both.  Snag 1: The piano wouldn't fit around the corner at the front door.  Remediation 1: Remove the door and stair banister to lift the piano over the front step into the living room to make it more maneuverable.  Snag 2: The box springs to the big bed won't fit up the stairs.  Remidation 2:  I think I can cut it in half and reinforce it again a once it's upstairs.  They show how on YouTube at least, so I know it CAN be done.  Therefore, I can do it too!

My assessment after the fact?  We needed a bigger truck.  The tool on Uhaul.com doesn't account for Mormons with food storage in their household size to truck size estimation statistics.  Perhaps a two bedroom apartment and 2.5 bedroom duplex plus a basement are completely different things.  Given the way we filled the 14' truck (which is really like 11'+3' for the loft), I don't think we would have even fit everything in the 24 foot truck that claims it's for a 3-4 bedroom home.

What we got vs. what we needed.

The good news is that the smaller truck left shallower ruts in the front yard when we backed right up to the front porch.  The bad news is that we had to use up all of our reservation time (through 2pm) doing loading/unloading, except for a brief reprieve for Jen's homemade pizza for lunch.

More good news: Heidi and Scott did a stellar job helping close-out the kitchen in preparation for us handing over the apartment next week (stove/oven, cabinets, sink, floors, walls).  More bad news: there is still lots to do for cleaning.


Things we had to do after the truck was returned:

• Yard cleanup
• Basement cleanout
• Bedroom curtain removal
• Bedroom final dregs boxup
• Bedroom sweep-out
• Bathroom curtain remove

Remaining to be done next week: 

• Clean upstairs wood floors
• Wash walls, doors, and door-frames
• Clean bathroom
• Clean stairs
• Vacuum carpet
• Spot-clean carpet
• Wash windows.

Then we'll be all prepped and ready for handing over the keys.  If anyone is coming to town for Thanksgiving and wants to put in some service hours, let me know!  We'll find a job for you next Saturday.  :)

Day 5: First night in the New House!!!

{Written before the fact.}Tonight we're having a slumber party/work party at the new house.  Significance:  First day sleeping in our new digs.  One day before our beds and other furniture gets loaded in!

{Written after the fact.}
I worked a full day at work, so only got home at 6 or so.  We eagerly anticipated the arrival of Heidi and Scott to help us get some of the gear over to the new house.  The idea was that Natalie would watch the boys while the adults and Sean got some work done at the old house to get it ready for the movers.  In general, the plan was that there would only be a mound of boxes for our moving crew to put on the truck, and there would be no "last minute packing" required.  It was a good idea, and I think we were almost there, but somehow things still show up not being packed once the movers arrive.

Here's how it really went down, written in present tense so you can live the experience:

• As soon as the Pratts arrive, Joe and Scott take over a load of boxes (and mattresses for the sleepover) to the new house, and unload the dish boxes into the kitchen.  
• Scott takes the tour and is excited to come and visit us in our new digs! 
• Jen and Heidi arrive with dinner while we are unloading, and we decide to go back to Bartlett Drive to eat with the kids.
• (Now about 8pm) We pack up the kids and go over to the new house to get the kids set up for bed.  
• Ian and Nat set up in Ian's new room, sharing a twin mattress centered on a rug in the otherwise empty room.
• Blake is on his trundle bed and Graham is in his pack'n'play in their new room.  Blake ends up sleeping with all his clothes on and his green L.L.Bean Parka because he doesn't want to put his pajamas on.
• Graham thinks his bed is really the fuss'n'cry (he didn't really sleep well=>Jen doesn't sleep well either).
• Heidi lies down with the little boys to help them get some shut-eye while Scott, Sean, Jen and I go back to the old house to put more things in boxes.
• We take apart beds and cribs and other furniture until after midnight. 
• After having moved the "important things", we are basically down to the stuff that just gets thrown hodge-podge into boxes.  These are the things that have to be sorted through carefully on the other end and we will have to decide what to keep/trash/give away.  Hopefully there can be a peaceful resolution to their destiny. :)

In the end (noted after the fact), Heidi moved to the air mattress in the big bedroom, Jen "slept" (lay there and didn't sleep well at all) in the little boys' room, then transferred to the playroom on the sofa bed.  I slept on the sofa-bed in a sleeping bag quite comfortably until Jen showed up around 4am shivering and cold, so I found her a sleeping bag as well, which didn't really solve the problem.  She must have been chilled to the bone!  Sean slept on a cot in the middle of the living room.

Observations: 

1. When sleeping in an empty house, you're gonna have to compensate for the cold night by turning the heat up more than you think is necessary.  Air mattresses and temporary sleep situations are not as warm as your usual bedding in an empty house.
2. The night before the move ought to be a stress-free relaxing night, with all the hard work already done or waiting until the next day.  We burned that candle on both ends.
3. Many hands makes light work.  It was wonderful to get so much done with Scott and Sean's help.
4. Every house sounds different.  I hadn't expected the sounds of the furnace, or the clanking of the baseboard heaters, or the sounds of cars on the road in the morning.  (We're used to the end of the culdesac, where no cars dare visit!)
5. Perhaps camping out in a new house is overrated... but at least it gave us a chance to thump around for 4 more hours before the help arrived to load the truck in the morning.

Next up, the actual move day, and all the joy that ensued!

Day 4: Getting ready for the movers.

We're getting serious now about boxing things up.  This morning I made one more swing around the cardboard recycle dumpsters today to get boxes for packing.  (Working in a business park is AWESOME!  Every building has a loading dock with cardboard recycling that gets replenished every day~!)  I normally pick up 10-15 boxes in a run, and we fill them almost as fast as I pick them up.

from here.  This is what we feel like, at least.

We're down to the dregs in the house, and are almost to the point of dumping things in boxes and calling it "Miscellaneous".   That's the final act of desperation, isn't it?  I remember when we moved from 100 West to 100 East in Provo, we laid out a tarp in the middle of the living room, collected all the leftover junk, tied it into a bundle, and stuffed it on top of the other things in the moving truck.  It was a one-trip move.  Not very elegant, but it got the job done.

Here's what's left that isn't packed, or otherwise in a grab and go state:

Upstairs

• Things in drawers (dressers, file cabinet, card catalog)
• Things on hangers (Jen, Ian, and Blake)
• Computer Desk and things around it
• Things on dresser (makeup, jewelry, etc)
• Dirty laundry in baskets
• Used bedding on beds
• Diapering supplies
• Cleaning supplies (last to be moved)

Downstairs

• Stranded toys/books
• Magazine rack and associated stuff
• Piano music and stranded decorations
• Kitchen dishes
• Fridge Food
• Freezer Food
• The items otherwise known as "misc"

Basement

• Leftover tools (that didn't make the first bunch of boxes)
• Leftover camping/gardening/car supplies
• Leftover craft supplies
• Dirty laundry that we ought to wash first (or take it and wash there?)
• Things I've tucked into the rafters
• Leftovers from yard sale
• Just a little "misc"

So far, we've done a few trips to the house:
Mon (1.5): Kids camping (with seats in van for kids) plus Ian and Joe full load.
Tues (2): Artwork and fragile/antique things, then full load of basement shelves and other boxes.
Wed (0): no trips, but catching up on home chores (dishes, laundry, kitchen, and a few basement boxes)
Thurs (2): Sofa plus a few boxes in the morning, full load in the evening.

Jen has made some other trips here and there to take things, bust mostly in the car instead of the van.  It's been my week with the van, mostly with the seats out.  Then last night it rained, and I had the seats and additional carseats

next to the house in the driveway.  Yikes!  Wet!  I'll have to make sure I dry them out really well so as to not frustrate the wifey.

Day 3: Lightbulbs

We have an interesting phenomena going on in our history of moves, and I'm sure there are "pros and cons" to the idea.  We pack our lightbulbs to take with us.  (Seems like others do too.  Right Shara?)

When we were first married, there was a big movement to transition out of incandescent light heaters.... er light bulbs.  This was a period of kind of "green revolution" where recycling, fuel economy, and reducing utility bills were on everyone's lips.  (For a couple of years, we bought a portion of our electricity from a wind-farm in upstate New York.  That made me very happy). At one point, I recall being driven to reduce our power consumption by buying compact flourescent lamps (CFLs) for our light fixtures, which typically used about 75% less power.

The wave of the future.  Are you in?  from here.

We shopped the deals for them, and I recall getting them for 6 for $10 on a good deal at Lowes.  This spring I picked up a bunch of them for 39 cents apiece at Building 19.  That being said, I'm sure the Lowes ones are better quality, but we shall see.

This week we are doing the lightbulb shuffle such that every socket gets a bulb,  We have been running the fixtures lean, because we don't need 3-5 bulbs lighting a room at any given time  (as the ceiling fan lights accommodate).  The sockets at Bartlett Drive get incandescent bulbs, and the sockets at 57 Chestnut get CFLs.  I have the stash of old 60W and 75W lightbulbs down in the cellar that were in this house when we moved here, so it was just a matter of pulling them up from the basement to put them back in so we can take our new bulbs to the new house.

Here's what we noticed:

• Wow!  Incandescents make everything look yellow!
• I forgot how warm lightbulbs got.   They do a good job of pre-heating the bathroom (and keeping the mirror from fogging up after a shower).
• As above, perhaps we should use incandescents in the new house because electricity is cheaper to burn per BTU than oil.  You know, heat the house in the evenings with light bulbs then let the temperature drop a little while we're all sleeping.
• I forgot how incandescent bulbs dim when something load-ful turns on.  When Graham's space heater kicks on, all the bulbs in the house dim a bit.  Well... if we are burning 25x60 watts instead of 25*12.5 watts, that could explain it (though I'm not sure we ever really have 25 bulbs burning at once) 
• Once you get 3 bulbs lighting a room, it's very bright.   We've been lighting our living room with one 12.5 watt CFL for the last 6 years, so we have lots of "mood" lighting.  Our bedroom's ceiling fan accommodates 5 bulbs, and that really seems like overkill to me.   Who really needs 300 Watts worth of light in a room?  
• CFLs don't fit in porch lamps quite as well, so incandescent bulbs might still have their place.
• I recall having to change bulbs like once every year.  Now I think these bulbs only die every 5-7 years, so I'm really not changing very many light bulbs!

So maybe this is the right strategy:  Use incandescent bulbs in the winter to help heat the house with electricity (cheaper than oil), then put in your spring/summer/fall bulbs to keep the house from getting unnecessarily hot and to save electricity.  

Are there factors I'm forgetting?

Day 2: Dismantling things bit by bit.

I'm going to have to go back and insert more information for Day 1, as you may have guessed, but the gist is that after closing on a house, there's lots of work to do to get furnishings from the old house into the new house.

For example, remember that yard sale mentioned in the tithing talk?  We sold the sofa and love seat that match the brown leather chair because they were getting ready to tank in value (as soon as the boys exploited the peeling bonded leather).  So we've been sofa-less for three months and have enjoyed some of these other nice chairs we have.  The truth of the matter is that we very rarely sit down anyway, because we are either playing on the floor or eating at the table, or running around the house doing laundry or bathing boys or cooking.  I guess we also sit at the computer desk with some regularity.  But mostly, sitting is a leisure that we most often do when we have visitors.  (Come visit and we'll sit a while!)

Living room sans sofas.  Chairs will do!

 Last night was the night when we finished taking things down off the walls.  The pictures, drapes, curtain rods, and wreaths from around the house are all down now, and the picture I have already moved over to the new house.  The curtains are being laundered (achoo!).  Oh, and the rugs I have taken over to the new house as well, just to see how well they "fit" in the various rooms that we have reallocated them.

Both of the wooden chairs came from GG.  Actually, the pink chair we bought from GG too.  The bookshelf was from the FROSTs in Provo (next stop, Ian's room!), and the lamp is from cousin Rachel A.  The sewing table is from the side of the road.  A 1954 Kenmore with the (almost) working machine still in the cabinet.

The boys room is starting to echo with emptyness now, with the walls bare and the rug removed. What I'm looking forward to most is having the new house NOT sound echo-ey while the old house begins to sound echo-ey.  Unfortunately, we'll need much more than just a couple of rugs to make that happen.

Ian's bed with Blake's trundle underneath.  Still figuring out what beds will go where, since it doesn't make much since for Blake to have a trundle only in his new room.  The slide, I presume, will go in the playroom?  Or the basement?  Or the little boys' room?  So many options...

Day 1: The Acquisition

Ridiculous.  The amount of work coordination and work that goes into buying a house!  Today was closing day, and it really seems like the process was smooth an unencumbered.  Yay for a new house!

I'm not complaining, just a little amazed.  It went smoothly because I take the methodical/measured approach, and have my documents "in order" and am quick to turn-around document requests from agents and lenders.

Here's the brief timeline:
10/6 Neighbors tell us about this cute little house a friend at church is selling.
10/10 We saw the house for the first time.
10/12 We come to an agreement with the seller
10/14 Start calling lenders
10/17 We lock in with our preferred lender, and send a load of paperwork to begin application
10/18 Home Inspection
10/24 Radon report comes back
10/28 Call the landlady and tell her we'll be out by Nov 30th
10/31 Mortgage Commitment comes back
11/1 Update with final financials (through October 31st)
11/4 Landlady shows the rental in two consecutive appointments, makes a deal
11/6 Homeowner's policy
11/15 Funds drawn for settlement
11/18 Actual Closing Day
11/26 Original closing day from offer

Here's what all I sent the lender:

• First-time home-buyer certificate (from a class that we took...twice, but our particular loan product ended up not requiring it.)
• Copy of the MLS listing
• Application form with critical personal information and financial status (establishing net worth)
• 2 months bank statements for every account (with another month update just prior to finalizing the application)
• Last quarter's investment account statements for every account
• Last two pay stubs (sent with inquiry, updated with final application, updated prior to close!)
• Credit report authorization
• Letter of explanation of other recent credit inquiries (we had shopped other lenders!)
• 3 years federal tax returns (1040s and W2s)
• Homeowner's Insurance Binder attached to the mortgage with proof of payment
• Borrower's Certification and Authorization (to proceed with the mortgage application)
• Request for Tax Transcripts (for Joe and Jen individually)
• 12 months utility bills (short credit history!)
• 12 months record of rental payments (short credit history!)
• Copy of the P&S earnest money check
• Copy of the Offer deposit check
• Record of sale of CDs and subsequent transfer of funds to savings
• Record of sale of IRA Investments and subsequent transfer of funds to savings
• Record of transfer of funds between banks

Here's what the lender sent back:

• Mortgage Draft Worksheet (that's the basis for the Good Faith Estimate)
• Mortgage Locked Worksheet (once we've locked the rate and agreed to proceed)
• Truth in Lending Disclosure Statement
• Good Faith Estimate
• Typed Mortgage Application
• Appraisal Disclosure 
• Federal Equal Credit Opportunity Notice
• US Patriot Act
• Interest Rate agreement
• Continuation Sheet
• License Disclosure
• Occupancy and Financial Status
• Notice of Intent to Proceed with Loan Application
• Customer Privacy Notice
• Servicing Disclosure Statement (they can sell, assign, transfer servicing)
• Undisclosed Debt
• HUD-1 Settletment Booklet
• Mortgagee Clause for Homeowner's insurance (they want to be beneficiary too)
• Residential Mortgage Loan Commitment (with conditions)
• Final HUD-1 Settlement Statement (with the big final "bring to close" number!)

Here's the documents with the real estate agents and sellers:

• Signed offer
• Copy of check with offer
• Personal letter of interest, directly to the seller
• A postcard, thanking the seller for the showing
• Purchase and Sale agreement draft
• Purchase and Sale agreement Contract
• Copy of check with the P&S
• Rider to P&S with inspection contingency
• Radon Contingency
• Repair Agreement
• Supplemental Agreement (inclusions of appliances, curtains, basement workbenches/shelves)

Here are the documents I generated or found on my own: 

• Home Comparison Worksheet
• Home inspection report
• Radon inspection report
• Home-owner's insurance policy
• Radon EPA guidebook
• Record of wire transfer for settlement costs to local bank (for the heavy bank check)
• Town "Master Plan" document (where the town is going)
• Town Newsletter 
• Zillow Estimate
• Interest Rates trends over recent years
• A list of contacts for professionals for home buying process.
• Lending estimates to decipher who has the best deal
• History of the house
• Packing plan worksheet
• A list of upgrades, and priority/timeline/budget worksheet
• A tool acquisition plan
• An annual cleaning and maintenance schedule for necessary home systems
• An expense log

Here's what all of that rigmaroll turned into:

Tithing Talk at Littleton, MA

Today I gave a talk at Littleton, MA, and I thought it was quite a learning experience.  I'd like to share some of it with you, but instead of the 7 page version, I'll outline it.


Part I: A Story

A. Introduction to our Family, preparing for a yard sale
B. The kids wanted to contribute, so ran a snack shack
C. The deal was 50% to the Council on the Aging, and 50% to be split and spent among themselves.
D. Cookies, lemonade, and training were provided by parents.
E. They did very well, and felt adequately rewarded with enough to buy a nice toy or trinket.

Question: How does this story compare with our relationship with our Father in Heaven?

Part II: Blessings and Financing the Church
A. God put work into preparing this Earth for us, it's heavy laden with natural resources, etc. DC 104:17 "For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare"
B. Lord wants to provide for his saints. DC 104:14-16 "I the Lord, stretched out the heavens, and built the earth, my very handiwork; and all things therein are mine.  And it is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine."
C.  DC 104:13 "For it is expedient that I, the Lord, should make every man accountable, as a steward over earthly blessings, which I have made and prepared for my creatures"
D.  Lemonade stand request was 50% to the Council on the Aging.  In the United Order, productivity was centrally re-distributed according to the united consent of the participants (April 1834, 104:21)
E. 1838: "...Those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord.” (D&C 119:1–4.)
F.  Marion G. Romney (Blessings of an Honest Tithe, 1982) as “a debt which everyone owes to the Lord for his use of the things that the Lord has made and given to him to use."
G. Elder Bednar (Oct 2013): These sacred funds are used in a rapidly growing church to spiritually bless individuals and families by constructing and maintaining temples and houses of worship, supporting missionary work, translating and publishing scriptures, fostering family history research, funding schools and religious education, and accomplishing many other Church purposes as directed by the Lord’s ordained servants.
H. (Mal. 3:10–12.)  The Lord has said that he will “open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord. …And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts.”
 Question: I’m not a farmer, nor do I have ground with fruits.  What are the blessings for me!?

Part III: The Law
A. Tithing isn't an investment. It’s compliance with divine law, upon which great blessings are predicated.
B. The Lord can still prosper his people.  A full and honest tithe is one of those practices that promotes provident living and lends itself to other blessings.

C. Elder Bednar reminded us that the testimony of tithing is not often a lightening bolt experience, but more likely to be a subtle accumulation of blessings.  You cannot expect the blessings associated with living the law of tithing while refusing to pay tithing.

D. Tithing is an evidence of belief, not a ticket for entry into heaven or a downpayment to prosperity.  First must come Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a sincere desire to love him and keep God’s commandments.  John Taylor: If a man has not faith enough to attend to these little things, he has not faith enough to save himself and his friends.” (HC 7:292–3.)

E. James E. Talmage: "He requires it of the people, not because He is lacking in gold or silver, but because they [we] need to pay it… the prime or great purpose behind the establishment of the law of the tithe is the development of the soul of the tithe-payer, rather than the providing of revenue."  (James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, 12th ed., Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1924, pp. 526, 528–9.) 

Question:  Why do they call it the window’s of heaven? 

Part IV: Windows of Heaven

A. Example of walking Graham to sleep at night, and having sights, sounds, smells coming through windows.

B. Participation in heaven mostly requires entrance by the gates. We know that (1 Cor 2:9) But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.  (from Isa 64:4)

C. But the windows.  The windows allow access for two things: 

1) us to see IN to God’s kingdom, to learn of His ways, to perceive the blessings he has in store for us, to witness the power that he has over all the earth, and to acknowledge the ways his hand is in our lives.  

2) for some of God’s bounty to “leak out” and for us to partake of.

D. Consider Elder Ulisses Soares, (Be Meek and Lowly of Heart, Oct 2013) 

E. Elder Bednar said: “Think of the imagery of windows of heaven.  Windows are structures through which natural light enters a building.  In like manner, the windows of heaven pour out illumination and spiritual blessings  (Several examples from his talk! "The Windows of Heaven")

F. Personal example: the house hunt.

G. I promise that as you and I observe and keep the law of tithing, indeed the windows of heaven will be opened and spiritual and temporal blessings will be poured out such that there shall not be room enough to receive them (see Malachi 3:10). We also will remember the Lord’s declaration:“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8–9).  I testify that as we are spiritually attentive and observant, we will be blessed with eyes that see more clearly, ears that hear more consistently, and hearts that understand more fully the significance and subtlety of His ways, His thoughts, and His blessings in our lives.

Part V: The Second Coming

A. Several places in the scriptures connect tithing and the second coming.  The prophet Malachi has indicated that at Christ’s Second Coming, those who do wickedly shall be stubble, but “But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.” (Mal. 4:1–2.)

B. When we are converted unto the Lord, we take his name upon us.  We figuratively become Christ’s children and in many ways, recognize him as grantor and “trustee” of our future estate.  We look forward to our inheritance and are grateful for the allowance that we are given as a token of the great abundance that awaits us.    In the meantime, of our allowance, we are asked to demonstrate loyalty, show devotion, and practice self-restraint, to contribute back into the system as part of our baptismal covenant.

C. At the second coming, many will burn.  Will it be strictly because of tithing?  Perhaps not.  More likely, tithing is chosen as the catch-all because it demonstrates humility that all the riches of the world are God’s own, obedience to a commandment, diligence to our covenants, generosity with our possessions, and faith in God’s promises.  “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

D. Bednar "The honest payment of tithing is much more than a duty; it is an important step in the process of personal sanctification. To those of you who pay your tithing, I commend you.  To those of you who presently are not obeying the law of tithing, I invite you to consider your ways and repent. I testify that by your obedience to this law of the Lord, the windows of heaven will be opened to you. Please do not procrastinate the day of your repentance."

 Part VI: Tithing Settlement

A. Elder Hales (Tithing: A Test of Faith with Eternal Blessings, October 2002)  Your bishop will be gentle and kind. He will understand the challenges you face. If you cannot pay back what you missed paying in the past, go forward. Begin today. Share with your bishop your commitment to pay a full tithe in the future, and work out a plan to return to the temple as soon as possible.

B. Fathers and mothers, as you prepare for tithing settlement I encourage you to gather your little ones around you and help them count their pennies. Help your young men and young women consult their records and take inventory of their annual increase. What a marvelous opportunity this is to plant the seed of faith in the hearts of your children. You will start them on a path that leads to the temple.

C. During tithing settlement, all families and members should meet with their bishop – even if they're not full-tithe payers (in fact, even if they're non-tithe payers). (1) The bishop must state a tithing declaration for each member, either (preferably) from the member themselves, or (if that person hasn't come) his own assessment.  (2) This is a wonderful opportunity for every member of the ward to briefly visit with their

Bishop about the past year and the upcoming year.

I need a haircut.

Guess I'll need to schedule an appointment with my barber.  Oh, wait, she lives in my house!

I've only ever paid for a haircut once.  I paid Susan Warwick $5 when she was in beauty school for me to be a head of hair for her to practice on.  As a kid, my mom cut my hair (mostly).  At that point in my life, getting a haircut was like pulling teeth.  Granted, mom had three boys, who would all need haircuts, so committing to cut hair for one felt like an obligation to cut three heads of hair.  There were prerequisites, like getting certain chores done, mom being in the right mood, and having enough buffer time to properly clean up the clippings.  Once I remember that the stars weren't quite aligned, and I pressured Shara into cutting my hair.  She did.  Okay.   Well, it wasn't great, and I remember at band-camp one of the more sassy fellows gave me quite a bit of grief, "Joseph, what happened to the back of your head!"  Of course, this was the same twerp who saw my birthmark on the back of my knee and said, "Hey Joseph, you've got something big and hairy growing out of your leg!"  Whatever.  Another time I had dad cut it.  He did a decent job, as I recall.

When I went to college, there were always clippers around the dorm.  One of MY roommates pressured me to cut his hair.  I did quite a butch job on him, but he was thankful  (NOTE: NEVER USE SCISSORS TO TRIM ACROSS THE FOREHEAD!).  Then three more roommates were willing to take a chance on me that night.  The last was definitely better than the first.  I discovered that not all hair is created equal.  Some is wiry, some is smooth and silky.  Some looks fine after shears only, others need a longer cut with scissors.  In college, haircuts were traded as favors because we were too cheap to go to a barbershop to actually get the job done.  Through the course of the year, I probably cut hair on 20 different guys, with some of them every six weeks.

Then as a missionary, it got to be a little interesting.  I wanted to look good, but still wasn't spendy to go to the barber.  If my mission companion was neat and tidy, I would teach him how to cut hair through slow and steady lessons.  If he was a bit more of a slob, I would take a pair of mirrors into the bathroom and cut my own hair.  Missionaries need to look good, after all, and I wasn't willing to get a buzz to remedy any problems!

A fresh haircut reveals a beautiful "Missionary Tan" from a white collared shirt!  Tight fade, Elder!

Once I returned, I needed to get another regular, trained friend to be my barber.  I went to the store and bought a nice set of clippers that I thought would do me for a nice long while.  I still use the same ones, in fact.  Jen and I started dating soon after I returned to BYU, so she was my natural choice.  She has told me since that she was absolutely mortified to take the combs, scissors, and shears in hands and try sculpting my hair.  She thought that if she messed up, I would hold it against her and t
hat I'd break up with her.  (Really?)  Or maybe she'd be embarrassed and not want to look at any problems she caused for her boyfriend?  It's getting a bit hazy now.  At any rate, she let me train her, and teach her how to do a decent fade from the sides to the top, and to get a nice clean trim around the ears and neck.

Ever since then, I've had a lovely barber close-by to keep me looking dapper.  Over the decade we've been married, I've discovered that there are starting to be conditions again.  I'm in charge of cleaning up the hair she trims from my head.  I have to catch her when she's in a decent mood to get some hair on her (but there are aprons!)  And I have to catch her when she has enough energy to take a shower or otherwise spruce up.

I think we've pretty much split the clipping duties for our three boys, though I might have the slight edge there.  I also cut Uncle Sean's hair every time I see him, and it seems that I also have regularly cut Uncle Ben and Uncle Spencer's hair too.  And I've cut Scott's hair.

So.  We're now 14 years since I cut my first head of hair in fall 1999, and I've come quite a way.  I wouldn't say that I'm "best in class" or that I've reached my 10,000 hours to be a master, but I do quite well.  [Recall there's that idea from Malcolm Gladwell's 2008 bestseller Outliers, where he popularized the "10,000-hours rule," which posits that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at any competition, from violin to basketball to Halo. It was a powerful idea, based on several studies, and put some evidence behind the "practice makes perfect" argument for any skill.]

What's more, I feel good when I'm doing it.  It feels good to look good!  And it feels good to help someone else look good.  As an aside, have you ever noticed how nice it is to drive a clean car, have a nice crisp shirt, or have freshly cleaned teeth?  I don't think these cases are necessarily equivalent to vanity or foolish pride, but perhaps more along the lines of self-respect.

Twelve words.

Today I went to a certain establishment and requested twelve words be written on a piece of paper.  Something like this:

"______ Two Thousand _____ hundred Fifty Five Dollars and Thirty Nine Cents"

They were happy to do so, but at a cost.  (You wouldn't believe what it costs to have 12 little words put on a piece of paper.)

The good news: We have a bank check for the down-payment on our house.
The bad news:  We're going to have to live in it.

Bonus quip: I was on my way home from work and wanted to catch the bank before they closed at 6.  I was feeling a little twitchy because of what I intended to do there.  No, I wasn't going to rob it or anything.  Just going to have my life savings drawn down in a matter of a few minutes and represented on one little rectangle of paper.  Having been married for 10 years, this constitutes the third time our liquid assets will be where we shall call a "starting point."  (First was newlyweds, second was at graduation/beginning of employment.)  In my frenetic pocket-checking for my wallet, I couldn't find it and determined that I must have left it at my desk.  I clambered back to the car, hopped in, and sped down the street to my office.  Upon getting to the parking lot, I felt a lump in one of my hidden internal jacket pockets and found my wallet.  I returned to the bank in a stupor with 4 minutes to closing time (on a Friday afternoon) and made my request.  And now.  Now I have a piece of paper on it with 12 words on it.  The funny thing is-- someone else will give me a document with about 20,000 words that says I owe them big time for a huge favor they're about to do me (and believe me, I'll pay them big time), and someone else is going to give me a sheet of paper that says I can  assume all responsibility for a piece of land and all improvements thereon (a house!).  Are we sure this is a good idea!?!

[We close on Monday.  Yippee!]

Five pieces of eye-candy.

This year, we went to three halloween events.  A) Halloween party at my work for the kids (trick-or-treating around the offices/cubicles). B) Trunk-or-treating with friends at the church parking lot.  C) Trick-or-treating around the neighborhood.  The boys each got to choose five candies from each of the stashes, and for the most part got to be the driving influence on the consumption of their loot.  Ian has a calendar next to his bed with every other day marked for candy (a 'c' with a circle around it.)  Blake's is more of "as requested" consumption (which also means, "as tolerated" by mom!)

Well.  I didn't dress up this year.  But I have sure had some sweet moments this fall!  I thought I'd share five pieces of eye candy with you just now.  Here you go.

Blake and Graham help me walk Ian to school every morning.  They are great sports, and it's a great routine to be in!

Graham is at that age where shoe rubber tastes delectable.  It's an acquired taste, from what I hear.

Graham has also tried playing the piano.  The foot pedals, at least.  (Not fully crawling, but getting places, nonetheless!)

He's picked up on wearing Blake's old monkey hat that Sis Walker at church made.

This cutie is a solid 25 pounds at 9 months, and is shown here sporting 18M feetie pajamas.  He's a lovely lunk!

Computer independence

When I was a kid (like 10 yrs old) dad had a computer in his bedroom at that foot of the bed that we could play a few games on.  They only had ASCII art, and were mostly very simple.  Ben and I liked to play Wheel of Fortune.  I don't recall needing a mouse, just the boot disk and the game disk and a few simple commands on the DOS prompt.  We did fun games like Oregon Trail at school, but I don't recall that we ever had it at home.

Later, when we moved to Tullahoma, dad got a better computer.  It had Windows 3.1 and a color monitor!  It had very simple graphics compared to current standards, but at least they could do blocky cartoons!  Remember Gorilla and Nibbles?  We played Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? and Frogger and a few others.  Computer time was a privilege that we fit into the spaces between chores and homework.

A few years later, and the new computer (Windows 95, perhaps?) could play MegaRace where there was an actual embedded video host.  He looked so lifelike!  We could play battle chess where the chess pieces walked across the chess board and actually fought.  I remember the imagery having such an amazing detail.

MegaRace.

Now the computer is grown up, and the innovations since I left for college have been in the realm of wireless connectivity, display, inputs, "the cloud", and massive storage.  As a few examples: household wifi, peer-to-peer action games, high-definition video (1080p!), on-line video chat, streaming movies and television, DVR, touch-screens, active sensing and force-feedback.  I keep lots of my files "in the cloud" so I can reach them from multiple devices or locations.   All of our pictures since 2004 are electronic and are accessible primarily through a computer.

I do have to wonder what the iterations will hold for my boys, who will always have computers in the home.  I do remember when we first got an Ipod Touch how Ian wanted to PUSH the buttons instead of touch the buttons.  It was a learning curve for him.

On the other hand, Blake knows exactly how to get to the PBS Kids App and scroll through to Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood without any supervision (to our delight on a Saturday morning, and chagrin when he's supposed to be working on something else!).

from.

The main reason that I'm thinking about this is because we are still the gate-keepers for our kids, and get to decide to what degree and how the boys interact with our computers and devices.  So far it's mostly been app-based access, with occasional typing for Ian in Word/Gmail/Blogger or games at Starfall.com and the like.  Last night there was another activity.

(Here's the short version)

Tuesday night at the homework table, Ian was having writer's block and had a terrible time accepting that he could write a whole story about Thanskgiving.  He was in a stalemate with himself (and us) and was pretty weepy.  After quite a while (more than an hour), I invited him over to sit on my lap and dictate to me some letters for FamilySearch Indexing on the laptop.  We did a full batch together, and he was interested.  He said, "Tomorrow can I do it all by myself?"  So I promised him that if he got his homework done that he could transcribe and do the typing.  As promised, tonight while I was putting Blake to bed, Ian sat at the laptop and indexed 19 names!  I'll do some error checking before submitting, but it was definitely a high-five moment in our household.

I'll be interested to hear Ian's observations in 20 years, when he outlines his "history" with a family computer.

Why goals?

{by Joe.}
Cause if you didn't score goals, you can't win the game!

Tonight our home-teacher came over and gave a lesson about happiness, choosing to have a good attitude, and deciding what kind of person we will be (self-improvement).  I'm not sure if it was his objective, but that's more or less what I got out of the lesson.  (Our ward council has encouraged a special selection of lessons from the Marriage and Family Sunday School curriculum for the second half of 2013, if you're wondering why this doesn't match your home teaching lesson.)

I guess a bit of why I think setting goals is important is because I believe that the opportunity to choose what/how/who we will be brings with it the responsibility to take that calling seriously.  I don't have many goals this year, and there are facets of my life where I have goals that aren't SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relavent, Time-constrained) (that I probably should!), but it's interesting to think about this self-improvement thing and to take it seriously.

from here.

At the same time, I see three main problems with goals, sometimes.  I'll use "we" instead of "I" or "me" just to be inclusive.  :)

1. We forget about our goals at times when we need them.
This one applies to lots of situations, but especially interpersonal goals, like these:
 "I'd like to reach out to ____ this week and let him know I care."
"I'd like to talk about my faith with ____."
"Next time I feel like I'm getting angry, I will stay in control of my feelings."
"I will keep my compliment/criticism ratio well above three."
       These are real goals for me, and honestly, they take a bit of intentional/proactive effort to stay on top of them.  It's frustrating to miss opportunities because we aren't constantly reciting our plan.  I guess that's why goals ought to be recorded and reviewed on a regular basis.  In that way, they'll be near the top of our brains during our daily course of action.

2. We feel like we are failing already, and can't really catch up, so it doesn't matter.
This one becomes a mental struggle when you are trying to meet milestones:
"I'd like to exercise 5 days a week for the next month."
"I'd like to index 100 records a week."
"I'd like to wake up at 6 am to study my scriptures."
"I need to write in my journal every day."
"I'm going to have a low-sweet month."
"I'd like to save $___ out of every paycheck to accumulate funds for _____"
        I have made claims to each of these in the last year, and haven't done very well with several of them.  I remember in college when I made a plan to jog every day-- it lasted for two weeks until my jogging buddy got sick.  I have pages and pages skipped in my journal left for me to go back and summarize events, feelings, and accomplishments for time periods of my life when I wasn't as good at keeping my personal record.  We're pretty good savers, but it's hard to do double duty when we get behind!

3.  We excuse ourselves from our goals because something else comes up.
This one is an attention span problem, and could be considered a commitment issue:
"I was working hard on portion control, but the food lately has been Sooo Goooood!"
"I know having a clean sink at the end of the day is important, but I'm doing NaBloPoMo instead..."
"It would have been nice to avoid wasting time with TV shows, but it's the World Series!"
"I had every intention of cleaning the basement tonight until I found out how tired I was."
"My awesome lesson for Sunday will have to be an okay lesson since my family is going to ____ on Saturday."
      This, unfortunately, is one of the facts of life.  There are lots of things to choose from, and we can't have have it all.  Something's got to give, and if saved up to the end, often it's the well-intentioned goal.  The only real way to combat this pitfall is to anticipate the diversion and be ready early for any eventuality.  My answer to this is to say I'll be satisfied if I steadily pace myself.  I don't have to be subject to "something comes up" if I have been making good headway all along.  Likewise, I don't have to be disappointed at cutting something, because I was planning to be done early.  There's still not an infinite amount of time in the day, but there is time enough each day to do what's important that day.

And if I don't have time for it-- obviously it's not important!

Reminds me of something that a church leader mentioned last year.  It went something like this:

If it's important to you, you'll schedule time for it.  If it's not on the calendar or planner, it's not important to you.   (Matthew J.  Eyring, LDS Area Seventy)

So anyway.  I guess I'll end this pontificating (soap-boxing?) and get back to FamilySearch Indexing, because I'm down to about one week worth of indexing remaining and it's only November!  (I love when a lofty goal is actually achieved!)

Another compulsion

Sometimes I'm a little impulsive.  Which is to say, often I'm a little impulsive.  Last month, for example, GG sent me this great little chair that had been in the family for many many years.  It's seen better days, after having been sat upon for quite some time.  Well, she sent it with a clue to the next step:  She said something to the effect of, "I hope that some day you can rush it and enjoy sitting on it once again."

So I watched  YouTube  instructions  to figure out what she meant.  The next day I went to AC Moore to see if they had fiber rush.  (They don't.)  Then I tried Michaels.  Then Joann Fabrics.  Then Lowe's.  It wasn't until Lowe's that I finally talked to someone who knew where to go.  It wasn't aisle 7.  It was down to the woodworking shop down in town, where they specialize in carpentry and other fine workmanship.  I bought the fiber rush and even subscribed to a free woodworking catalog!  Once I got home, Ian and I took apart the legs and spindles and re-glued it...

Then I imitated what I saw in the YouTube clip.  Seriously, it wasn't that bad.  People put how-to videos on the internet so your weekend project guy can scope out if it's worth his time and know how deep he's getting!

It took me the better half of a day, but I got it done!

The next week, I decided I need to polyurethane it so the new seat will last a bit longer than just raw fiber rush (basically like twisted grocery sack paper).

It was alot of fun, and a good reminder that projects aren't really out of reach, they just require a little free time and some courage to try something you've never done.

I did it again tonight.  I figured our kitchen looked a bit worse for wear after almost 7 years, so I learned how to replace some busted up grout.  Thanks to Scott for the hint on using a grout saw!  Now we just have to clean the rest of the grout in the kitchen to look just as fresh as the new grout.  ;)

An obsession. Really.

You know how you think you're the only person who is into something, and that you have something special that noone else has?  Maybe it's a talent, or a nick-knack, or an insight into something.  Well, out of 6 Billion something people on the earth, I am learning that I'm not as unique as I've always thought I was.  I'm still special, but not always one-of-a-kind.  One of our happy things to share with many others is a mild obsession with the Piano Guys.

Piano Guys doing the One Direction thing... one of the first YouTube clips we saw.

We watch a clip or two every night before bed because a) it's fun to have traditions, b) the music is good, c) the scenery is often awesome, and d) I was starting to run out of stories to tell!

They often truck a piano and cello to very strange places.

They also do a few that are spoofs of soundtracks gone classical.

One of the boys favorites!

Well, when you have fans, you have imitators!  Here, we have Ian playing the bat cello.  It's handy to find things laying around while dad is cleaning in the basement.

April 25, 2013

 And it only took Blake a second to try to give his best effort.  Still working at keeping the cello upright, I guess.

Early this spring, we decided that our annual ticked even would be to the Berklee Performance Arts Center in mid-October to see the Piano Guys.  Turns out the Red Sox and Cardinals stormed the area too, but when there weren't enough seats in the concert hall, they had to just keep on walking down to Fenway instead.  Poor guys.  The concert hall was full, and it wasn't just Mormon FanBoys.  The Piano Guys have a following, and we are among them!  People had come up from New York, down from New Hampshire, and were eager for some innovative/creative musicality.

We had a huge blast.  Graham did a great job keeping quiet/nursing/sleeping.  Blake enjoyed much of the concert from my lap so he could see the action on the stage (it's tough having a short torso!).   Ian kept giggling and giggling, throughout, but the song he had the best time watching live was Rockabel's Canon (in D, 4 Cellos).  It was awesome.

Piano Guys came to Boston during the World Series, and WE WERE THERE!

It all came rushing back this afternoon when I saw that Ian made an electric cello and bow out of Duplo Legos.  We're going to have to get this boy in some lessons!

Nov 10, 2013

Boys like chess.

I recall the days of yore when Ben (younger brother) and I discovered my parent's chess set.  It was a nice set of sculpted (molded?) chess pieces with long faces in cream and black.  In subsequent years, we had to re-learn what chess pieces looked like, because most people's chess pieces were more symbolic than the ones my parents had.

We would have been 11 or 12, and felt pretty clever.  We read through the instructions, set up the chess board, and started learn how to play.  It seemed like I did a good job of discovering ways that I could really wallop Ben.  Games would take a while, as we considered the ramifications of our moves and learned to plan three or four moves in advance.  Only, it couldn't last.

After a while, Ben discovered that he could beat me again and again due to my eagerness to get the game moving a bit faster.  He would carefully measure the benefits of each move, and I would react sometimes too impulsively, or allow sacrifices with a bit too much reckless abandon.  Good strategy, eh?  Make the other player want to get the game moving so that he's carelessly aggressive!

Well, for the last three days, we've had a sick boy in our house.  Ian has had a fever, and it's on its way out.  BUT>  he wasn't healthy enough to go to a baptism at church with the rest of the family so I stayed home with him.  I thought it was time to pull out our glass chess pieces, dig out some patience, and teach Ian how to play!

It was fun to watch him learn the rules and play with quite a bit of consistency (except he kept forgetting about knights every once in a while).  In the end, he beat me once, and I beat him once.  What a fun afternoon for a sick boy and his dad!

Time chunks, my perspective

Do you remember when your age was the new number that you were given each year?  You identified by it almost as much as your name.  It was a very important characteristic.  Sometimes when Blake is introduced to people, they'll say something like, "Hi Blake!" and his answer will be "I'm fee."  (Three)

I remember getting so excited to get a new number.  Like six to seven was memorable, because we were having a birthday out on the lake fishing from a pontoon boat.  I recall seeing a photograph of me holding up seven of my fingers with great pride!  The other day, a member of our ward came over, and asked Ian how old he was, "Seven and a half."  Remember when you were so proud of your half!?  It was a big deal!  Book-keeping was not an issue.  Now I have to compute and ask myself: what year is this, what year was I born, and have I had my birthday yet this year?  Honestly, I have a hard time keeping up.  Maybe that's part of the point.

When we were kids, there were lots of age-based transitions.  Kindergarten after you are 5, you could be interviewed for baptism at 8.  I remember being on vacation and getting teased (or supported?  whatever it was, it was attention that I felt awkward about) about becoming a pre-teen.  Oh dear.  A pre-teen!  Age 12 had it's own strangeness.  Then we would look forward to being a full-teenager, eligible for an age-based driving permit, then license.

The years ticking over felt so significant.  Part of that might have been that we dated all of our school papers.  I remember feeling the impetus of changing from 1992 to 1993.  Seriously.  1992 just flowed, it was a part of my state of being, then all of a sudden this awkward number 1993 came along.  It took some getting used to, and felt monumental.  Now the only significance of the year turning over is that my bank checks won't clear if I put the wrong date at the top.  (On the other hand, the seasons fly like I had never considered they could, and I feel like my babies are growing up way too fast.)

When I was a kid, I really looked forward to being a missionary, and saved my earnings in a bank account for that day when I would be an adult, living somewhere on my own, preaching the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  Fast forward to 2000 when I arrived to the Preston MTC and I felt like a big kid being asked to be mature and do something important.  My ability to fulfill that expectation (maturity!) probably ebbed and flowed a bit.  Most of the time, I felt like I had to keep answering the question of how such a young (baby-faced) American was allowed by his mother to live a continent away on his own.  I never felt shy or timid.  Though there was that one time when I ran into someone from my first area (after having been in England for more than a year) and they said they remembered how quiet and timid I had been as a new missionary.  (Really?  Or do they just say that to all missionaries?)

I got married at age 21, but didn't feel any disadvantage for it.  Marching through with confidence and dedication seemed to work in other realms of my life, so establishing a household would work out just fine.  There was this really odd feeling of being discounted as a inexperienced, non-contributor in one of our family wards in Utah.  I guess it was just the feeling of being pre-judged not based upon me, but upon my life status as a young newlywed.

This categorizing is inevitable, but pre-judging based on categories isn't really necessary.  Here are a couple of examples where I've seen some impacts of this tendency:

Undergraduate vs. Graduate:  At BYU, it seemed like the undergraduates generally didn't mingle with the graduate students.  Graduate students always seemed to be the old and wise, so focused, and their sense of fun was much more tempered.  (Maybe for many cases, this was true, but certainly not a rule!)

Newlywed vs. Oldywed:  In our married student ward at church, everyone was newlyweds (less than 5 years married), but it was interesting to watch how some of the 19-21 year old women had a hard time socializing with the 22-24 year old women.  I think there was one woman who was 27, and she was definitely an anomaly.   There were quiet appraisals of each other based upon child count, years before graduation, and other external factors.  I think Jen and I did a decent job of not looking after these external  judgements and mingling with people of a variety of vital statistics, but not everyone found it so easy.

Renters vs. Owners: In our current ward, when we moved here it seemed like people welcomed us well enough, but when they heard we were renters (instead of home owners), that our tenure in the ward was already doomed, and perhaps our value (long term) to the ward was in question.  And yet, we've been renting the same place for nearly 7 years, and I think we've done a good enough job at demonstrating our stable, steady contribution.  Perhaps in some ways, the perspective of time/tenure is shifted since we include a military base, and a long-time member is anyone who has been here longer than the 3-4 years of a military rotation.

I guess the conclusion that I'm trying to illustrate is that there's a natural tendency to create a perspective that hinges upon age, that actually discounts (or promotes) a person purely on life status.  Here's a potential application--from that verse in Timothy 4:12, I think the advice was at first about just acting like a true disciple, regardless of how people might pre-judge you:

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

But what would happen if we also made a concerted effort to apply this in reverse:

Avoid judging another person's youth or seniority; but see their qualities as believers, in their words, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.