Why goals?

{by Joe.}
Cause if you didn't score goals, you can't win the game!

Tonight our home-teacher came over and gave a lesson about happiness, choosing to have a good attitude, and deciding what kind of person we will be (self-improvement).  I'm not sure if it was his objective, but that's more or less what I got out of the lesson.  (Our ward council has encouraged a special selection of lessons from the Marriage and Family Sunday School curriculum for the second half of 2013, if you're wondering why this doesn't match your home teaching lesson.)

I guess a bit of why I think setting goals is important is because I believe that the opportunity to choose what/how/who we will be brings with it the responsibility to take that calling seriously.  I don't have many goals this year, and there are facets of my life where I have goals that aren't SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relavent, Time-constrained) (that I probably should!), but it's interesting to think about this self-improvement thing and to take it seriously.

from here.

At the same time, I see three main problems with goals, sometimes.  I'll use "we" instead of "I" or "me" just to be inclusive.  :)

1. We forget about our goals at times when we need them.
This one applies to lots of situations, but especially interpersonal goals, like these:
 "I'd like to reach out to ____ this week and let him know I care."
"I'd like to talk about my faith with ____."
"Next time I feel like I'm getting angry, I will stay in control of my feelings."
"I will keep my compliment/criticism ratio well above three."
       These are real goals for me, and honestly, they take a bit of intentional/proactive effort to stay on top of them.  It's frustrating to miss opportunities because we aren't constantly reciting our plan.  I guess that's why goals ought to be recorded and reviewed on a regular basis.  In that way, they'll be near the top of our brains during our daily course of action.

2. We feel like we are failing already, and can't really catch up, so it doesn't matter.
This one becomes a mental struggle when you are trying to meet milestones:
"I'd like to exercise 5 days a week for the next month."
"I'd like to index 100 records a week."
"I'd like to wake up at 6 am to study my scriptures."
"I need to write in my journal every day."
"I'm going to have a low-sweet month."
"I'd like to save $___ out of every paycheck to accumulate funds for _____"
        I have made claims to each of these in the last year, and haven't done very well with several of them.  I remember in college when I made a plan to jog every day-- it lasted for two weeks until my jogging buddy got sick.  I have pages and pages skipped in my journal left for me to go back and summarize events, feelings, and accomplishments for time periods of my life when I wasn't as good at keeping my personal record.  We're pretty good savers, but it's hard to do double duty when we get behind!

3.  We excuse ourselves from our goals because something else comes up.
This one is an attention span problem, and could be considered a commitment issue:
"I was working hard on portion control, but the food lately has been Sooo Goooood!"
"I know having a clean sink at the end of the day is important, but I'm doing NaBloPoMo instead..."
"It would have been nice to avoid wasting time with TV shows, but it's the World Series!"
"I had every intention of cleaning the basement tonight until I found out how tired I was."
"My awesome lesson for Sunday will have to be an okay lesson since my family is going to ____ on Saturday."
      This, unfortunately, is one of the facts of life.  There are lots of things to choose from, and we can't have have it all.  Something's got to give, and if saved up to the end, often it's the well-intentioned goal.  The only real way to combat this pitfall is to anticipate the diversion and be ready early for any eventuality.  My answer to this is to say I'll be satisfied if I steadily pace myself.  I don't have to be subject to "something comes up" if I have been making good headway all along.  Likewise, I don't have to be disappointed at cutting something, because I was planning to be done early.  There's still not an infinite amount of time in the day, but there is time enough each day to do what's important that day.

And if I don't have time for it-- obviously it's not important!

Reminds me of something that a church leader mentioned last year.  It went something like this:

If it's important to you, you'll schedule time for it.  If it's not on the calendar or planner, it's not important to you.   (Matthew J.  Eyring, LDS Area Seventy)

So anyway.  I guess I'll end this pontificating (soap-boxing?) and get back to FamilySearch Indexing, because I'm down to about one week worth of indexing remaining and it's only November!  (I love when a lofty goal is actually achieved!)